What to bring to basic training (for girls)

For the record, I'm sure everyone has different needs, and I'm probably going to forget things, and I'm working off of my experience in 2010, so things may be different. But I know that right before I was getting ready to leave for BMT, I was having a really hard time finding a list of what to bring, and since I had no idea what to expect, I was really concerned about what to pack to make sure I had everything I needed, but didn't bring anything to draw extra MTI attention.

As far as how much luggage to bring, I would recommend packing two bags: one very plain black backpack to bring with you to Basic, and an actual suitcase with civilian clothes, electronics, and anything you think you might want while at tech school, and ask your parents/significant other/friend to bring it to you at graduation. Just leave space in the suitcase for your backpack. If no one can come to your graduation, that's fine; they have a storage closet in the dorm for suitcases. It's just easier and more convenient to bring as little as possible, especially since you won't need any of it until you leave, and because as soon as you get there, your MTI will have you dump every item you brought onto your bed to be checked for contraband. Keep that in mind.

For what to actually bring, first of all, if you get on the plane and realize you forgot something, don't sweat it too much. One of your first pieces of business when you get to Lackland will be to go to the nearest shoppette, which sells pretty much anything you could possibly need. I would recommend packing a toothbrush and toothpaste for the trip there and for the first night, but for pretty much any other toiletries, it's probably easier to just wait and buy them there. You'll also be given a debit card with a few hundred dollars (out of your first paycheck), so while you can keep money on you if you want, it's really not necessary as long as you budget even a little. And since you can't buy food or anything but essentials during your shoppette trips, it shouldn't be hard.

Here is another decent list of what to bring, which also links to the "official list," though they also say to forget about the official list. I disagree with him in a few places, mostly about things like toiletries and phone cards, but ultimately you'll end up being fine either way. It doesn't say when this list was published, so I think mine might be more up-to-date, but not sure. By the way, this guy's articles on About.com have good answers for pretty much any question you have about the military.

Okay, on to my lists of what to bring and not to bring.

To Bring:
-3-4 plain t-shirts (You'll only need them for the trip there and the first two or three days, until your uniforms are issued)

-2-3 pairs of jeans (Same as above, you won't be able to wash your clothes every day, but there's no one there to impress, and the less things you bring, especially bulky things like jeans, the easier. Especially since you want everything to fit back in your backpack for storage)

-Pair of good quality, plain-looking running shoes (Mr. Powers disagrees, but I think mine's more current. We had the option to buy running shoes there, and they're Asics, so they're good quality, but they only have the one style. And we were also allowed to use ones we brought, as long as they weren't brightly colored. You're going to be doing a lot of running, so I liked being able to pick my shoes. It is physically impossible to find plain white running shoes, so just get the least colorful ones you can find. Even the ones they sell at Basic have blue or pink on them. Also, you can just wear them there, so one less thing to pack)

-6 pairs of white running socks

-1-2 bras (You'll only be wearing these on the way there and maybe during graduation)

-4-6 good sports bras (You'll pretty much be living in these

-6-8 pairs of non-flamboyant underwear (Mr. Powers says you'll have to buy some, but we were not required to)

-3-5 pairs of black Spandex shorts (You'll be wearing these all the time too; wear them during PT to keep your shorts from riding up, and under your ABUs during the day to keep your pants from chafing from all the marching. These are also good to sleep in, instead of PJs; jump out if bed and your halfway dressed)

-1 towel (I think you only need this for the first couple of days; after that they give you some)

-Toiletries: shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste/toothbrush, etc. (I would recommend if you bring these, to just bring small sample sizes, especially since if you only bring a backpack, you won't be able to carry large bottles on the plane. You can buy all of them when you get there, and your MTI will probably give you pointers on what to buy; my pointer is to get a pack of those acne wet face wipes, because they're great to helping you actually feel clean between showers after days of marching in the Texas sun. Also, unless you're actually on your period when you leave, don't bother bringing pads or tampons. You can buy them when you get there, and a lot of girls stop having their periods completely while they're there, just due to the stress)

-Lots of hair bands and bobby pins that match your hair color (The Air Force doesn't require you to cut your hair like the other services do. However, if your hair goes past your collar, you will have to have it up in a very severe bun at all times. I went in with pretty long, thick hair, and I pretty much slept with my bun in so I didn't have to redo it every morning, but it frequently hurt, damaged my hair, and I still got yelled at [by other TIs] because my hair was so thick, my bun was almost to big to be in regs [it can't extend more than 3 inches]. About halfway through, we were allowed to go to the base salon, where I and about a third of my flight got our hair cut short. My hair frizzed up horribly, since I couldn't blow dry it, but it was infinitely more comfortable. A lot of girls get through basic with their hair intact, but this is just something to think about, especially so you can decide if you want to have your hair professionally cut, and not by someone with 20 other girls in line. If you do cut it, I recommend cutting it pretty short--ears or shorter--so that no one can ask if maybe your hair is too short. Your TI might know it's fine, but you have to deal with all the other ones lurking about, too)

-Paperworks (College transcripts, driver's license, if you have a marriage license or dependent birth certificate, social security card, enlistment contract, banking information, prescriptions)

-Glasses, if you wear them

-Cell phone and charger (You will get to make calls home, usually on Sundays and if you do something good. You might read that you should bring phone cards; there are pay phones, but we were always allowed to use our cell phones, which were much more convenient; I haven't heard of anyone who's gone through after me who couldn't use their cell, but if that rule has changed, you can always buy one)

-List of personal contacts, with current phone numbers and addresses (Especially if you're trying for an Intel field or something that needs a security clearance; they need a non-relative contact for every place you've lived. And do not trust your recruiter to do this for you.)

-Black pen (You're going to be signing a lot of stuff. Just go ahead and put one in your pocket)

-Paper, envelopes, and stamps; maybe pre-address and stamp some to your favorite people

-Pictures, a Bible, or other small mementos (Mr. Powers says to be careful with these, as the TIs could make fun of them. I didn't have a problem, but it is something to take into consideration. Any pictures anyone mails to you will also have to be shown to your TI, but I guess at least it wouldn't be on the first day, and in front of any higher-ranking TIs who may show up to mess with the newbies)

-Cheap waterproof watch (Not necessary, but very convenient; I say waterproof so you can wear it in the shower, or in the mud, or the sand, or whatever crazy situation you find yourself in. However, it will inevitably come out a bit worse for wear, so definitely don't invest a lot of money into one)

-Minimal make-up (If you really want, though you can only wear a very little bit and only during graduation, and they do have make-up at the shoppette. I would recommend not bringing any)

Not to Bring:
-High heels or flamboyant clothes (This happened in my flight, and she got immediate attention that first day, and not the good kind)

-Contact lenses (You can technically wear them for the first couple days, but you'll be very sleep-deprived and in Texas heat, so they'll be very uncomfortable, and you're not allowed to wear them at all once they issue you new glasses, which will happen within a few days. Put them in your Tech School suitcase. Mr. Powers says you can't wear them at all. I honestly don't remember if I wasn't allowed, or I just didn't because they hurt; either way, don't bother)

-Pajamas (Like I said above, you don't need them; we all just wore our Spandex shorts and PT shirts to bed)

-Hair implements (Maybe get a super portable version of your hair dryer, straightener, whatever, but you can only use it during graduation, odds are someone else in your flight will bring one and let you use it, and if they don't and you're that desperate, they sell them at the shoppette)

-Jewelry (Any jewelry that isn't a sports watch or a wedding ring--engagement ring doesn't count--will be required to be locked away. Just don't worry with it. You are allowed to wear diamond or pearl stud earrings during graduation, but again, you can buy them there)

-Pretty much anything valuable, including all your electronics (Put those things in the big Tech School suitcase; you won't need them at Basic, though if you're phone doesn't do music, maybe bring your iPod for the plane/bus and slip it in your backpack)

General Preparation:
-PT: push-ups, sit-ups, running (This one isn't necessary, but it does make your life there a lot easier; I did almost no exercising before I left, and the program is designed to help out-of-shape people like me to get up to standards within the 8-week time, and while it worked, I would have struggled a lot less had I worked out more ahead of time)

-Learn stuff (This one is only for if you're feeling nervous and really want to get that head start, because BMT is completely designed to help civilians who know absolutely nothing about the military to become Airmen. Absolutely everything you need, they give you. But, if you really want to feel prepared, you can start studying the Air Force ranks and insignias. You'll also have to learn your chain of command, but part of that is dependent on what squadron you're assigned to, so can't really study it. If you're looking for more light reading, here's another good article on About.com that goes through what to expect week by week. Again, some of it, like the phone situation, is a little out-of-date, but most of it's still really good information)

-Read Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (This sci-fi novel has actually been one of my favorite books for years, so imagine my surprise when I heard it was on the Marines' recommended reading list. The Air Force doesn't have it on theirs, but I found it really helpful while I was there; mostly it just helped give me an understanding of the reasoning behind some of the seemingly crazy things my MTIs were doing. For instance, it helped me realize that when my TI was yelling at me, he wasn't mad at me. He just knew that odds were 45 other women were probably making the exact same mistake, so rather that calmly teaching the same thing 46 times and having it be disregarded as unimportant, they can yell really loud at one person, then everyone learns it and registers it as a big deal, or else they wouldn't be yelling about it. It's all just mind games)

-Practice the phrase "Sir/ma'am, Trainee [last name] reports as ordered"(You will be required to say this before saying anything to any TI, unless all you're saying is "yes" or "no." [As in, "What's your favorite ice cream?" "Sir, Trainee Skywalker reports as ordered. Chocolate." This one is especially hard to get the hang of, and you will no doubt get yelled at a lot for it, but the more you practice, the better off you'll be)

-Don't leave getting ready until the last minute (You're about to start a completely new life in a new place, on your own. Make sure that you know where all your important documents are. As for all your stuff, you will be able to do one "home of record" move, where the military to pay to ship your stuff from your parents' home, your apartment, a storage unit, etc. But when that happens, especially if you were living at home, it'll go a lot smoother for you and whoever will be helping you out back home if you've already put all your stuff together. They'll pack everything for you, but at least figure out what you want to bring or not bring, and anything you don't want the movers to see, go ahead and put in a closed box and mark it. When you're doing this, also keep in mind while you're deciding what to bring that if you're not married or have a kid, you'll probably be living in the forms for a while.

-Don't freak out. If you met all the recruitment qualifications, then you'll be able to make it through basic. That's what it's designed for. You can make it. You're going to be nervous and confused for the first week or so, but once you get into the routine, it may be one of the simplest times of your life. You are getting paid to exercise, study, eat, and sleep. If you've lived in the real world at all, you know how nice it would be for your biggest worry to be how many push-ups you can do and whether a colonel wears an oak leaf or an eagle. To not make it through on time, you have to fail pretty catastrophically, which mostly only happens if someone gets severely injured, or is just lazy, and even then they mostly only get delayed by a few weeks. And then you're off to be paid to receive training for a guaranteed job that you can keep for however long you want, with full benefits and money for housing. And if you do decide to get out, you just got paid to learn a marketable skill. Yes, there are hardships and sacrifices, but it's still a pretty sweet deal all around.

But mostly, you CAN make it through basic training.

Wow, it's been a while

To be fair, it has been a very busy two years. But, I have now successfully completed a year and a half of Chinese language training in California and two months of follow-on training in Texas, and am now stuck in beautiful Hawaii for the next three years. Since I can't remember what all I've posted, I would also like to announce my successful marriage to my husband, which took place in a lovely ceremony on the Riverwalk in San Antonio on the day I graduated, as arranged by said husband and my wonderful mother. We are still happily married two years later, and living in very nice military housing here in Hawaii with our two dogs.

Hawaii is gorgeous, but honestly, husband and I really miss the mainland. Mostly seasons. Between here and California, we've been pretty season-free for over two years. And what with both of us working, there's really not a ton of time to hit beaches and mountains and shopping malls. And while there are plenty of breathtaking drives, for some reason none of them seem to go to Target. Very inconvenient.

Anyway, enough of poor Maggie's whining about being forced to live in Hawaii. The horror, I know. I'm going to try to get back to writing a little more here, if only because I know a few people who are about to leave for basic, so I keep having all these inner monologues about advice I'd want to give, and this seems like the easiest way to get that advice out there so my mind can shut up about it. And I can't talk too much about my job in the Department of Mysteries, but I can eventually try to talk a bit about training and the Air Force in general.

Probably.

Church at Basic

I know this is a little late coming, since I left Basic about a month ago, but I guess that's just kind of how I roll. And I wanted to write about this before I got too distant from the experience.

One thing I kept hearing from people, both before leaving for BMT and after I got there, was to go to church, whether I was religious or not. It gets you out of the dorm and away from the TIs, and it gives you an hour or two to just relax and decompress. And while I agree with that, I would encourage everybody who has a chance to check out a BMT church service, trainees and visitors, to do so. And here's why.

In my opinion, the church at BMT is possibly the coolest church service you will ever go to. And not so much because of the chaplain giving the service, though there was one who was really good. And I also think it's pretty cool that they offer a bunch of services in all kinds of other religions, so if you want to, you can broaden your religious horizons while you're there, so to speak. However, to experience what I'm talking about, you have to go to the contemporary Christian service--which normally I wouldn't be going to; I'm more of a traditionalist, with the hymns and whatnot--but the contemporary Christian service is the one that everybody goes to.

I admit that the first time I went to church, I cried in Sunday School before I even got to the service--the first and one of the only times I cried at BMT. It wasn't even an especially powerful class, though I remember that we were talking about marriage, which made me miss my then fiancee. It was the first time I allowed myself to decompress and actually feel anything since I'd gotten there. I guess I had put up some kind of defensive shield without realizing it, and when that came down, everything just kind of came rushing in, and the tears started gushing out.

And then I went to the service, and that was simply overwhelming. I had never witnessed such an example of coming together together to support each other. The sanctuary was packed with trainees, with the new Airmen and their families in the back. As everybody was walking in, they were playing music videos up on a screen. They always played the same three songs, but I actually really liked that; with all the other stress going on, it was nice to know what to expect. Though the songs they picked never failed to start a few other people crying: "Letters from War" by Mark Schultz always made me want to cry, and "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me always got a bunch of people, and they played "Letters from Home" by John Michael Montgomery, but that one was first, so I usually came in too late for that one.

But as I walked in and they were playing these songs, every single trainee, to a person,was singing along and had their arms around the waist or the shoulders of the person to their left and their right, and everybody as a giant mass was swaying back and forth. I was with a group of girls from my flight, but I was on the end, so I knew the girl on my left, and following suit, we put our arms around each other. But then another girl slid in next to me that I didn't know, and she put her arm around me too. And behind us were girls from an older flight, and during songs they would answer a few questions and tell us that Basic got better, and that it was going to be all right. And while there was a sermon and a few prayers, most of the service was just singing, a few slow songs where we all put our arms around each other again, and a lot of fast ones where we all clapped and did little dances in our pews. Those songs they changed once a month, much to our disgruntlement, though I assume that was to keep the band from going insane from playing the same songs for a year straight.

And as much as I enjoyed being part of the community, I also like watching its effect on everybody else, especially the guys (who were kept segregated from us). The girls really got into it, with little pockets of synchronized dancing breaking out. But I guess that was a little more expected from the girls. With the guys, I'm not sure what it was, because they were usually a lot more toned down than we were. Maybe there's just something more powerful, something more private being revealed, when you watch a bunch of guys with their arms around each other's shoulders, passing tissues to the guy in the middle during "I Can Only Imagine."

I have a couple of videos below. The first one, I'm really excited about. I stole it from Youtube, from ytmisschriss. They actually took a video of the beginning of church, where they're playing "Letters from War." This is exactly where I was, and this is what it looked like. The ones in blue jackets in the first visible row are graduated Airmen. Everybody else in ABUs are trainees. The second video is the one playing in the background of the first video, "Letters from War" by Michael Schultz. This is the one that always got to me, even the eighth time I heard it.

I'm in the Air Force now!

As of Friday morning, I have become an Airman and graduated from Basic Military training. Now, on Monday, I'm on a plane to California to start learning to be a Chinese cryptologic linguist. It's safe to say that this weekend has been one of the craziest ever, on many levels (I also got married, since one transformation wasn't enough [and more to come on that later]), but it was hands-down one of the best.

By now, I've had a little bit of time to reflect on the BMT experience as a whole, not to mention how much it's affected me. For one, I wasn't expecting to be freaked out by traffic, but after two months of only the occasional car stopping to let us cross the street, I had forgotten how fast the interstate can be, especially compared to the speed of a column of 40 girls marching in step.

Overall, though, I don't think I've changed too drastically. I still have my same sense of humor and can loosen up and laugh and play, though I do think I've developed a greater awareness of when playing is appropriate and when it's time to stop and get serious. Or maybe I'm a little too serious now. I guess I'll have to cliche it up and just say that time will tell on that one. I do think that going in a little later in life, rather than straight out of high school, helped a lot, especially since it meant that I'd already developed much of the maturity needed to graduate from basic. We definitely saw the biggest changes in the younger girls. When we first got there, one girl, who was 19, would never stop smiling when we were in formation, which is strictly forbidden. Really, smiling in general, especially in the first few weeks, will earn you a yelling TI, but especially in formation. But whenever a TI or one of us asked her why or told her to stop, she said that she was just a happy person. After a while, she found that balance between her serious game face and her normal happy self, but it took some time and growth.

As far as the BMT experience itself goes, it was about as bad as I had expected it to be; I had not, however, expected it to be as good as it was. The goods really ended up ouweighing the bad, and what "bad" there was I understood were necessary evils. The PT (physical training) sucked about as much as I thought it would, especially since I was stupid enough to do next to nothing to prepare for that before I went in. But, on the flip side of that, I can now run longer than I would have thought possible, I've lost about 12 pounds, and I have reasonable toned abs and thighs, which I think isn't too bad after 8 weeks. And even though I can't say I enjoyed the 45-minute workouts at 5 every morning, and they pretty much always hurt, there was a distinct progression to the intensity of the workouts over the 8 weeks, and no matter what week you were in, even if you only did 10 pushups and they wanted 30, if they saw that you worked for those 10 and weren't just giving up, they didn't give you a hard time. If they saw you being lazy and giving up, then they got angry, but as long as you were trying, they might encourage you to keep pushing yourself, but they would never punish someone for not being able to do something.

Really, that to me was the most surprising thing about BMT. I expected the yelling and the PT and the crazy eating, but what I hadn't expected was how much the TIs were teachers, especially the primary TI in charge of my flight (who I suppose I will very awkwardly call SSgt (staff sergeant) Matt, since so far I haven't used any last names in the interest of this being an open blog accessible to any crazy, and I'd like to protect him and his adorable little girl who came and met us at Easter). We were his first female flight, and the first flight he'd ever run (we call it "pushing a flight") on his own as the teamchief since becoming an MTI. The man truly became a mentor to our entire flight. Any time we needed extra help with anything, whether it was practice marching or setting up our areas for inspection or anything, he always sacrificed time with his family (and he sacrificed a lot of time) to come in early or stay extra late to help us. Whenever we learned something new, he always made sure we knew what we needed to do and how we needed to do it, and was always patient with clarification questions. Any yelling that did happen was only when someone would keep making the same silly mistake to break them of it, and so that the rest of the flight could hear and watch for that mistake themselves. I never felt like I couldn't go to him with a question, even about things like wedding dress options at the BX, and I know a lot of other girls went to him with problems a lot bigger than mine. At one point, we had to march with another instructor giving the commands, and we were getting frustrated because he kept calling them wrong. When we got back to the safety of our own dorm, we were telling SSgt Matt about it, and he leaned back in his chair and said, "Makes you appreciate Daddy, doesn't it?" He said it jokingly, but from then on we thought of him as our surrogate daddy, or in some cases the only father figure some people had ever known. I don't know if it's normal for people to feel about their MTIs the way we did about ours, but I'm pretty certain a lot of us wouldn't have made it without him. I think I probably would have, but I don't think BMT would have been the enjoyable experience it ended up unexpectedly being.

While I can't say it was easy, BMT was definitely a worthwhile experience, and I learned a lot about a lot of different things. Now that I'm on the wY to tech school, I'm back to being nervous like I was on the plane ride to Texas. Just as I had gotten Basic figured out, they send me on. I know Chinese will be incredibly challenging to learn, but based on what I've already accomplished, I think I can handle this. The Air Force seems to think I can. So now as I get ready to enter the operational Air Force, I just have to remember to use what I've learned and make SSgt Matt (and my parents, and my husband, and myself) proud. Off we go, into the wild blue yonder.

From centerpieces to combat training

Well, I leave for Air Force Basic Training in six weeks, on February 23. And I realized that six weeks sounds a lot shorter than a month and a half. When I realized that was also about the time I had my first "Oh shit, what am I thinking?" moment.

I've started working out, some, but that just makes me realize how not in shape I am. I have lots of little things to do to start getting ready for the practical side of leaving, which basically translates into completely uprooting my life, putting it in a storage container, and putting it on hold at least eight weeks, and probably more while I'm at school on the opposite end of the country. I have to mentally prepare to leave my family, my fiancee, and the only town I've ever lived in, knowing that this may be the last time I live here.

On top of the normal stresses of leaving your life behind to join the military, I, in my brilliance, have also decided to get married at the end of this year. And while I am very excited to get married, this also means that I now have six weeks to plan a wedding that will happen in December. My fiancee and both our families have been extremely helpful, both financially and with ideas and planning in general. Likewise, I know I don't have to have a full-out wedding and I know I don't have to get married this year. But I am still a girl, and even if I'm about to become an airman, I still wanted a proper wedding, so I decided the extra stress was worth it. That doesn't make it any less stressful though. Not to mention that the juxtaposition between planning a wedding (bouquets and bridesmaid dresses) and getting ready to join the military (reveille and boot-polishing) is just a little confusing.

And so, I have decided to employ my most trusted coping mechanism to deal with my pre-basic anxiety: researching the crap out of it. I've talked to a lot of people who have gone through basic who swear that while it's hard, it's not that hard. However, I'm going to continue assuming that basic is going to kick my ass with my own stylish stilettos, mostly because I'd much rather get there and it be easier than I thought, rather than discovering that it's way harder than I expected. Basically, I expect to cry, to feel completely out of my depth, and to want to go home. My theory is that if I'm aware going in of how much I'll want to cry, I'll be able to accept it and move on to getting better at things.

To get ready, I've also been reading About.com's extensive "Surviving Air Force Basic Training" article. So now, for your benefit and mine, I'm going to steal liberally most of the relevant information from there and put it here, in one super-long plagiarism spree. Most of the preamble is basic information that I've already talked about, things like the fact that all Air Force Basic Training takes place at Lackland AF Base in San Antonio, TX; that it used to be 6 weeks, but they've extended it to 8.5 and included a lot more weapons and combat training; and that I should expect to try and want to go home.

(Everything after this point, except headings, is directly quoted from About.com. Instinct...to cite source...too strong to fight...)


What to tell your family

Before you depart for your great adventure in Air Force Basic Military Training (AFBMT), there are some things you should tell your family. Let's face it. Mommy's little boy or girl is leaving home to join the big, bad Air Force, and they're going to worry.

Family Emergencies. You can't receive phone calls during basic training. You can't receive them even if there is a family emergency. Emergencies must first be certified through the American Red Cross. Before you leave home, tell your family that if an emergency arises (a real emergency, such as a death or serious illness in the immediate family) they should contact you through the Red Cross. Your family should know your full name, your social security number, and your flight address. If they haven't received your address yet, don't worry about it. As long as the Red Cross knows you're in AFBMT, they'll find you.

Mail Call. Within a week or so of arriving, you'll be sending a "pre-printed" postcard home that has your flight address on it. You'll only be sending one of these to one person, so make sure that person knows how to get a hold of all your other friend and family members with the information. Tell them that you will not have much time to write home during basic. In fact, I would be surprised if you can find the time to send more than one or two very short letters home. However, make sure your friends and family know that it's very important that they write you as often as they can. Basic training can be a lonely, stressful time, and a cheerful letter from home can be just the thing to pick up a lonely airman's spirit, and make them want to go on.

Make sure they know not to send you any gifts or "care packages" during basic training. That'll just involve you getting yelled at by your T.I., and it will then be thrown away (if parishable), or put away in the storage area until you graduate from basic, if its not parishable (either way, you'll get chewed out, and maybe even have to do several push-ups). Also, keep in mind that the T.I. hands out mail to everyone at the same time, during evening "mail call," and they have a very bad habit of reading anything in "public view," so it's not a good idea to write "funny" or "cute" messages on the outside of envelopes, nor is it a good idea to send post cards, unless you want everyone in your flight to hear it.

Phone Calls. Make sure your family and friends understand the AFBMT phone call policies, and not to worry about how scared you sound during that very first phone call you'll be allowed to make.

Graduation. Finally, tell them that they will receive an invitation to your AFBMT graduation, along with all the details they will need to know, during your sixth or seventh week of basic. I strongly recommend they make plans to attend, if possible, as it is an experience they (and you) will never forget.

Meeting your T.I.

Once you step off the bus after arrival, you'll met your training team members. This consists of your Chief Military Training Instructor (MTI), lovingly called T.I.s by their close friends and family (you'll call them "sir," or "ma'am" at all times.)

Suddenly, the skies will darken, your ears will ring, and all Hell will break loose. You'll say to yourself, "What have I gotten myself into?" Your flight will probably have a Training Instructor, and an Assistant Training Instructor, as a minimum. If you're really, really "lucky," you may have more than the basic two. Depending upon their genders, their first and last names are both "Sir," or "Ma'am." Unlike the other services, in the Air Force during basic training, you'll be required to address noncommissioned officers (NCOs) -- especially T.I.s -- as "Sir," or "Ma'am." There are not enough commissioned officers around basic training for you to practice on, so the T.I.s "allow" you to practice this etiquette on them. Once you leave basic training, your technical school instructors will be quick to inform you that, as they are NCOs, they "work for a living," and you do not call them "sir" or "ma'am." However, in basic training, you should call everyone who outranks you (which is pretty much everyone except other trainees) as "sir" or "ma'am."

Before leaving home, you'll want to make sure you do not stand out in your personal appearance. When you meet your Training Instructor for the first time, trust me -- you'll not want him or her to remember you for your long hair, earrings (male), handlebar mustache, or pants that are four sizes too big. Ladies, while you will not be required to cut your hair for basic, you will be required to keep it off of your collar at all times when in uniform (which is most of the time in basic), so you may wish to consider cutting your hair short enough so it doesn't have to be put up.

The very first thing you will discover is that even if you're 6' 2", 190 lbs, and your T.I. is 5' 4", 120 lbs, he/she is the biggest, meanest thing you've met in your life. You'll soon realize that your T.I. does not like you, doesn't like your friends, and absolutely hates your family. Air Force T.I.s do not use profanity (at least, they're not supposed to), nor will they "put hands" on you. But, they are very, very good at yelling. Very good.

Years ago, when I was an up and coming young staff sergeant, I attended a supervisor's course at Chanute AFB. One of my classmates was a small, petite woman who had just returned to the "real Air Force" from four years of T.I. duty. One evening, while walking back to billeting (the base hotel) from a "study group" meeting at the NCO Club, we passed a young airman, walking down the street with his field jacket unzipped (this is a uniform no-no). My former T.I. friend said, "Watch this."

She braced the very large young man, ordered him to stand at attention, and -- standing six inches in front on him, looking up at his frightened face -- proceeded to discuss his ancestry and disgusting personal habits for ten minutes straight, all without a single word of profanity escaping her lips. When she was finished, the young man was six inches shorter, and bleeding from the ears. I was very much impressed (and, from that moment on, slightly afraid of her).

The second thing you'll discover about basic training is that nobody in your flight can do anything at all right. Everything you do during the first couple of days will be wrong. You'll stand wrong, you'll walk (march) wrong, you'll talk wrong, you'll look wrong, and possibly you're even breathing wrong. Hopefully, if you read this feature, you'll have a few minutes of respite while the T.I. concentrates on the person next to you with the purple hair. If so, do not giggle, do not smile. If you do, you'll discover just how short a T.I.s attention span can be, as he/she shifts attention to examine and comment (loudly) about your particular deficiencies. Keep in mind that T.I.s hate the word, "yeah." They also hate the word "nope," and "un-uh." They especially hate any sentence that doesn't begin or end with the word, "sir," or "ma'am."

When I went through Air Force Basic Training (several centuries ago), each and every sentence had to begin and end with "sir" or "ma'am." Example, "Sir, Can I go to the latrine, Sir?" However, my friend Johnathan Carpenter has reminded me that modern day T.I.s hate this as well. In Basic, if you say "sir" or "ma'am" beginning and ending a sentence, they call it a "sir sandwich" or a "ma'am sandwich," and that is another notorious pet peeve of those kind gentle souls.

T.I.s are also notoriously hard-of-hearing. No matter how loud you say "Yes Sir!," or "No Ma'am!" your T.I. will probably politely ask you to speak up. Because of their hearing problem, the T.I. will probably assume that you are similarly inflicted and will make a special effort to speak loudly -- right next to your ear. Moving, or showing any evidence of discomfort is considered to be impolite and will be commented upon (loudly).

Before long, it will dawn on you that somewhere between the welcome center and your dormitory, someone stole your first name. You'll probably never hear your first name throughout your entire time in basic. For your time there, everyone (T.I.s, flight mates, etc.) will be addressing you by your last name. If a T.I. doesn't know your last name, he/she will call you "trainee," or "recruit" (loudly). If you're female, often they will yell, "Hey, you! Female!" (My daughters hated this).

Your T.I. will likely spend most of the time on the first evening you're together, between meeting you, and lights out, by introducing you to some of his/her favorite T.I. games.

Typical Day

There isn't really any "typical" day in Air Force Basic Military Training (AFBMT). Each day will be different, as you will be learning new things, and doing new things, depending on how far along you are in your training.

However, HANSEN1N0, a member of our message forum, has shared with us what happened during one average day while he was attending Air Force basic:

0445 - Reveille (You'll learn to hate that song). Time to wake up.

0500 - Downstairs in formation. Get ready for PC (Physical Conditioning)

0500-600 - PC. You alternate. One day you run, the next day you do aerobic exercises.

0600-0615 - Breakfast. Believe me, you won't have much time to eat. My TIs always said "Give us breakfast, and we'll give you time for dinner and lunch." Meal time is often chaotic. So if your recruiter says it's a nice sit-down time to eat, he/she is full of it. But, then again, there are exceptions.

0630-0745 - Dorm setup. Getting the dorm "in shape. (Never call it a "barracks" in the Air Force)

0800-1130 - Anything from drilling, classes, records checks, shots, uniform issue, etc.

1130-1230 - lunch...well, it can really be anytime between 1100 and 1300 depending on what else is going on that day with your training schedule.

1300-1700 - Usually classroom instruction. I did bootcamp last July. Trust me, it gets hot. Your TI won't have you doing drill in the afternoon (especially in the summer). Sometimes, you'll do STT. I won't go into detail about this, but it's basically time to organize your area for inspection.

1700-1800 - Usually dinner. The amount of time you get to eat, depends on how far along you are in basic. Generally, the closer you get to graduation, the longer you have to eat.

1900-2045 - Set up the dorm for night-time. Clean-up details, shine your boots. Sometimes, maybe even a "patio break," if the TI feels the flight has earned it.

2100 - Lights out. You'll hear Taps right before "lights out." (That song I always loved).

Phone calls and patio breaks

You'll get a chance to call home at least once during basic training, and probably a few more times, unless your flight is so totally screwed up that they make your T.I. unhappy.

First Phone Call. This is the only mandatory phone calls that T.I.'s are required to let recruits make. You only get one chance at this, so if the person you call is not home at the time, that's just tough.

Your first phone call will most likely happen on the first Saturday or Sunday afternoon after your arrival, but this is not a hard, fast rule. It's basically up to the T.I. This will be a very short phone call (only about 3 minutes), enough time to pass on your mailing information. Warn your family/loved ones in advance about this phone call. You will not sound "well." Your voice will be shaky, and you'll sound like you're on the verge of tears. During this particular stage of training, you'll swear that T.I.'s are around every corner, under every table, just waiting for you to do something wrong so they can yell at you for it. This "scared rabbit" feeling transfers to your telephone voice. The bad thing is that you won't have time to tell them that you're really okay. You've got enough time to spit out your mailing address, then you have to give the phone up to the next recruit in line. So, make sure your family is ready for this. Otherwise, they may spend the next several days thinking they made a mistake about letting their "baby" go away to basic training.

Patio Breaks and Other Phone Calls. After the first mandatory phone call, how often you get to call home is a matter of "privilege." The phones are located on the "break patio" of each dormitory. You earn "patio breaks" (as a flight) by keeping your T.I. happy. If your flight is doing well, your T.I. will give them more patio breaks. If your flight is not doing well, the T.I. may withhold patio breaks. In addition to the phones, the patio has candy and coke machines. Whether or not you are allowed to use them, however, is up to your T.I.

T.I.'s are given a lot of latitude in this area. At Lackland, I met T.I's with completely different philosophies. One T.I. allowed his recruits to purchase candy and cokes on patio breaks during the first week. Another T.I. I met did not allow any of his recruits to have candy or coke (or even deserts in the chow hall) until after the 4th week of training.

Other than the first phone call, you will only be allowed to call home during authorized patio breaks. Keep in mind that there are going to be lots of other anxious folks waiting in line to use the pay phones at the same time. There is only one patio per dormitory building, and several flights are housed in each building. You may get lucky and your T.I. will give your flight a patio break when nobody else has one, or you may get to the patio and find out that every other T.I. in the building decided to give their flights a patio break at the same time. How long you will be able to chat on the phone depends on how long your patio break is, and how many other folks are waiting to use the phone.

Remember, these are pay phones, so bringing a pre-paid phone card with you to basic training can speed things up. That way, you won't have to go through the operator to arrange for a collect call.

(Note from Maggie: I've heard that with so many people owning cell phones, sometimes we will be allowed to use them instead of the pay phone. I have also heard that this very much depends on the T.I., so I intend to prepare for both.)

Settling in (Zero Week and Week 1)

• Rainbow and Baby Flights
• Drug Testing
• Haircuts
• Getting Your Mailing Address
• Initial Uniform Issue
• Shots and Dental Examination
• Initial Fitness Test
• Eye Examination and Glasses
• Recruit Leader Selections
• Weapons Issue

Pre-deployment phase (Week 2-Week 5)

• Job Counseling and Selection
• Weapons Training
• Pugil Stick Fighting
• Weapons Qualification
• Obstacle Course
• Pre-Deployment Training

Deployment Phase: The BEAST (Week 6)

The BEAST replaces "Warrior Week" at Air Force Basic Military Training (AFBMT). This is where basic trainees get to put everything they've learned so far about combat situations into practice. The name may sound intimidating, but it's actually an acronym for "Basic Expeditionary Airman Skills Training."

At the beginning of week #6, the entire Air Force basic training class, consisting of about 800 recruits, is marched to The BEAST, which is a field training site on the Medina Annex at the west end of Lackland. It's designed as a simulated combat deployment site.

The BEAST site consists of four camps (called "zones"), named Vigilent, Sentinel, Reaper, and Predator. Each camp consists of 10 green canvas tents used for sleeping. There are also two tents, one used for a field hospital and the other for a command post. In the center of the ring of tents is a three-story tower (where instructors keep watch so they can chew you out for doing things wrong), and a hardened building which is used as an armory and as a bomb shelter. Each zone also includes five defensive firing positions, and an entry control point (ECP). Each zone is a self-contained unit responsible for operating and defending itself.

The BEAST starts on a Monday, and recruits spend that day with the instructors, setting up camp, and reviewing all the combat lessons and procedures that they learned during the previous five weeks. The next day, the war starts, and it doesn't end until Friday afternoon. Under the previous "Warrior Week," recruits only spent two hours in a simulated combat exercise.

The "war" is actually run by the students. Before departing for the BEAST, instructors choose one zone leader and 10 small unit leaders for each zone. These student-leaders are responsible for the day-to-day "war" operations in their zone, and schedule manning for the defensive firing positions, and ECP.

Recruits sleep in their tents and wake up at 0445 each morning, where they are given an intelligence briefing on the current threat. Throughout the remainder of the day, recruits endure simulated attacks, and take action accordingly. Some attacks are chemical/biological, and others are conventional attacks. Attacks can come from the air, or from hostile ground forces, or suicide bombers. Attacks can take place at any time, day or night. T.I.s and folks in the 3E9 Emergency Management career field act as the bad guys, and throw everything they have at the airmen. Throughout the day and night, recruits pull two hour shifts as camp guards in the ECP. Don't expect to get much sleep during The BEAST, kiddies.

The first 750 recruits went through The BEAST in December 2008. Almost to a person, what they hated the most was the amount of gear they were required to wear/carry with them at all times, and wearing chemical warfare suits and mask for hours at a time. Each recruit is required at all times to wear body armor, and helmets, and carry a rucksack loaded with three MREs (Meals, Ready to Eat), MOPP Gear (Chemical suit, gloves, boots, and gas mask), as well as carry two canteens and an M-16 rifle. This is 24 hours per day, for four days.

During the war, the instructors don't "teach." Student leaders and trainees are expected to complete assigned tasks on their own, and respond (on their own) to the various attack scenarios that are thrown at them. Instructors then debrief (yell) about what they did wrong, and (more quietly) praise about what they did right.

The BEAST site includes a 1.5-mile improvised explosive device (IED) trail littered with simulated roadside bombs (can you tell an IED from an old soda can?). Recruits learn to spot IEDs and then use the trail in training scenarios. For example, under one scenario, recruits make their way down the "lane" in tactical formation, trying to identify IEDs from the other debris. Get too close to an IED, and it goes "BANG," and you're dead (the instructor will emphasize this point with plenty of yelling). At the end of the trail, recruits are broken into teams of two "wingmen," and negotiate a combat-obsticle course (low-crawl under netting, hide behind walls, roll behind bushes and timbers, strike dummies with the butt of your rifle, high crawl through deep sand up a 40 percent grade, ect.). Hint: DO NOT advance ahead of your wingman, and whatever you do, DO NOT stick the barrel of your rifle in the sand!

When someone is not trying to "blow them up," or "kill them," recruits can enjoy three meals per day. However, these three meals will be in the form of Meals Ready to Eat (MRE). However, you never know when an attack will come, and even your meals will be interrupted (as well as your sleep).

Post-deployment phase (Week 7)

• Post-Deployment Training
• Final Fitness Test
• Final Uniform Issue

Graduation Week (Week 8)
(I think this is also when I learn what my language will be)

• Military Job Assignment
• Final Written Tests
• Honor Graduates
• Basic Training Ribbons
• Airman's Run
• Airman's Coin Ceremony
• Retreat Ceremony
• Graduation Parade
• Open House
• Family Visitation, Leave and Passes

I got the linguist job!

Due to some kind of mysterious and awesome recruiter magic that I think may have involved minor ritual sacrifice, my recruiter gave my air traffic control job to somebody else, and got me a linguist job! I leave for basic on February 23! Which is actually pretty much perfect, since I was hoping to do basic (in Texas) during the winter. Then it's 8.5 weeks of basic training and then off to Monterey, California by late April or early May. Very, very excited. I don't have any idea yet what language I'll get; I should find that out sometime during basic, probably late-ish. From what I understand, my say in what language I get will be pretty minimal. I'll get to fill out a "dream sheet" of languages I'd like to have, and if one of those happens to match up with one of the ones they need, then that's great, but the needs of the military definitely come first here. Though honestly, while I think it'd be super cool to learn Greek or Hebrew, I'm really not very picky on what language I get, as long as I get to learn one. So yay!

Samson

Listen before reading.

I've been listening to my iPod a lot lately, and the song "Samson" by Regina Spektor keeps coming up. This is probably one of my top ten favorite songs ever, so I really don't mind, but what with my new, shall we say, military mindset, I've started to hear a different meaning behind it.

(I'm not sure that this song actually pertains to the military at all, but I really wanted to share it, so I'm going to make it relevant. I knew that creative writing degree would be useful someday.)

The song is a pretty obvious reference to the biblical story of Samson and Delilah. In the story, Samson is a warrior chosen by God. He possesses enormous strength, but only as long as he never cuts his hair. He falls in love with a woman, Delilah, who is bribed by Philistines to find out the source of Samson's power. After many false answers, he tells her that it lies in his hair, and she has it cut off while he sleeps. God forsakes Samson for cutting his hair, and he loses his strength. The Philistines chain him in his weakness to the pillars of their temple to sacrifice to their god, but by then Samson's hair has grown long again, and he regains his strength. He pulls down the pillars, killing himself and the Philistines.

Ta-da, the original story of Samson and Delilah. Just in case you missed Sunday School. Now to the song.

On first listen, it just sounds like a sweet, simple love song. Spektor's voice is beautiful with a tinge of heartbreak when she sings lines like
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old light
They're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

I have to admit, at first I was kind of confused by the song, especially the line, "And the Bible didn't mention us, not even once." Because it did. There's a whole story about it. I've read some theories about what the song means, and most people seem to think that it's just saying that they actually loved each other, which the Bible doesn't mention. Though some also think it's not about Delilah at all. I doubt that.

But I think it's a bit more than just "Yes, they loved each other," though that's part of it. After many listens, I've come to the conclusion that it's Delilah saying how she wished the story had gone. How she loved Samson (ignoring the bribery and chains and such), and how she knew that while he had all this power, he could never really be hers. He would always be a hero first.

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light

This is such an intimate, beautiful scene, in which he's clearly choosing her, forsaking his strength, his destiny, and God, leaving him free to "kiss [her] till the morning light."

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonder bread
and went right back to bed
He couldn't break the columns down
No, he couldn't destroy a single one
and the history books forgot about us
and the Bible didnt mention us
not even once

He didn't pull the pillars down on himself, and he didn't die in that temple. He simply went home to Delilah, living out their lives together and not being heroic at all, and so they were forgotten by history. That's what seems so heartbreaking about the last line, the way Spektor sings, "I loved you first." It sounds like such an aching plea, Delilah telling Samson that she loved him before he was chosen by God, before he became strong and brought the Philistines down on him. She loved him first, and now she just wants him to choose her.

(And now for the tie-in.)

I've been thinking a lot lately, for obvious reasons, about servicemen and women and the people they leave behind. I had mostly been thinking about it from the perspective of the people who leave (again, duh), but especially while keeping up with Amber's blog, I've been considering more the side of the people left behind; husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, parents, children, friends. I wonder, is this how these people sometimes feel too? I'm sure they're all very proud and grateful for their loved one's service, but I imagine there's also a strong feeling of simply wanting to tell them, "Choose me. Leave all these big things behind, and just come home to me. I loved you first."

Complete lyrics:

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

A hitch, or a possible opportunity

Well, I just got my first taste of the concept of "the needs of the military." That didn't take long.

About three weeks ago, I went to my first DEP meeting with all the other Air Force people waiting to ship out. Going in, I really wasn't thinking anything of it. Until he said he'd found me a job. At first I was just surprised, since I way wasn't expecting one so quickly. Then I was nervous, because I hadn't expected to leave so soon, and just general early nerves about leaving, boot camp, etc. And then I was excited, because I've been feeling ready and anxious to start my life, as it were, and head out to Cali and start learning a language.

And then he told me that my job was not as a linguist, but as an air traffic controller. And I could just feel my face fall.

I knew going in that this was a risk, and that I might get picked for a different job. At MEPS, they had had me pick five jobs, and I had agreed that I'd be able and willing to do any of them. Of course, everyone kept saying that with my high DLAB score and the military's need for linguists, I'd almost definitely get that job, so I didn't need to worry too much about the other ones on my list. Wrong. But, I had agreed to it, and it was a risk I accepted, so I really couldn't be mad about it. That didn't mean that I wasn't really disappointed and a bit confused, though.

So, after a few minutes of me sitting very very still while he tried to sell me on air traffic control by telling me how much money they make (I did manage to tell him that that really wasn't one of my concerns), I recovered enough to start processing, and then to start looking at options.

I know that the needs of the Air Force came first, but I'm also pretty certain that I'd be able to serve them and myself much better by being a linguist rather than an ATC, due in no small part to the fact that historically, I'm not the greatest with the being-under-pressure. And ATC is a super stressful job. As in, you make a mistake and 300 people die. No wonder it has such a high suicide rate (also a problem).

But, that's the job they've assigned to me. So, there we are.

And, to make matters more frustrating, there's another kid who had just sworn in that day who actually wants to do ATC. My recruiter called his superior to see if they could just switch us and make everybody happy, but apparently the paperwork had already gone too far for that. Boo.

BUT, if a linguist job happens to come up before I leave for basic for ATC, and as long as no one else wants it, then to fill all the job openings, they can move me to linguist and move this other kid into my ATC spot. That would be super sweet.

I've also started considering an option I'd pretty much written off a while ago, of becoming an officer. I think I'd become so single-minded about being a linguist that I hadn't really considered any other jobs, and since there are no linguist officers, I'd didn't really look into it. And I still say that leading people isn't my favoritest thing in the world, but there are certainly perks. The substantially better pay and housing, for one. And the opportunity to travel more than I would have gotten as a linguist. And while there isn't a linguist officer, there is an intelligence officer, which is pretty much who linguists report to, so that could be pretty cool. I still think I'd rather be a linguist, but I do definitely think it's worth considering.

Regardless, the whole thing has at least made me take a serious look at why I want to join the military, what I want out of my time there, and ultimately the general path I see my life taking in the relatively near future. At first, I just started looking into it because I couldn't find a "real job." I wanted to learn a language, and I figured the Air Force would be a pretty sweet way to do it, but up until then I had had no military aspirations whatsoever. It was mostly just a means to an end.

So whenever my recruiter first said that it looked like I couldn't be a linguist, it was like watching that entire future I'd been so excited about just crumble away. No California, no learning a language, no getting paid to translate things.

So then I thought, now what?

But when I thought about going back into the job-hunting foray, that made me even more depressed than air traffic control. Mostly, it all came together (as many things seem to do) when I was talking to my mom about it. She asked me a question that I hadn't thought to ask myself. She said, "What's more important to you, joining the Air Force or being a linguist?"

And I realized, much to my surprise, that the answer was joining the Air Force. After all, even if I do end up doing ATC, I can always try to retrain into linguist later. They still need linguists. And I'd still be significantly more secure financially, and still have many more options open to me in the Air Force than I would as a civilian, regardless of the job. And I could always teach myself a language later, or get Rosetta Stone, or use some of that money that military personnel get for school to go take more language classes. And even if I got out after four or six years, I'd still be able to call myself a veteran and still have the personal pride of having served my country and done something so entirely outside my comfort zone.

So, surprisingly enough, even if it ends up that I can't be an Air Force linguist, I'd still like to be an Airman. Very interesting. And pretty nice to know.

Of course, if they'd just let me be a linguist, that'd be pretty awesome too.

Happy Independence Day!

I realize I'm a little late on this, but oh well. I tend to celebrate holidays when it's more convenient, anyway. Mostly I just wanted to say that I <3 this country, whether I'm in the military or not. I feel very lucky to live in a country where at least we know our votes get counted, whether the person we voted for wins or not; where we have the luxury to worry about things like carbon emissions; where if a political figure goes missing, it's not because he was kidnapped, tortured, and killed for dissention; and where his Argentine sex-capades and the death of a singer with only one glove are apparently the biggest things we have to worry about.

I also wanted to shamelessly steal my friend Amber's lovely video that she made for the occasion to celebrate and honor the people who fought to win us this independence, and the people to continue to fight for it. And this is her blog about working with Soldiers' Angels, where this video is also posted.

And now for something completely different

(AKA introspection) (AKA mushy emotional crap, because I can)

Because I'm sure the entire Internet is waiting, breathless with anticipation, to know how I'm feeling about waiting and doing nothing. Truly, this is a blessed day.

But honestly, I mostly just wanted to record so I can look back at it later with mild interest. Also, in case someone in my same situation happens to stumble randomly across my blog and think, "I wonder if she's feeling the same way I am? She is? That's comforting." Also, in case my family's reading and were wondering. Also, because I'm a little egotistical and there's something very satisfying about updating your blog.

On with the show...

So right now, I'm pretty much in limbo. I've passed all my tests, which is vastly comforting, and I've sworn in, which means I'm more or less committed and I get to put a sticker on my car. I know I'm signed up to be a "cryptologic linguist" (1N3XX), and since this is a "critically manned" field (which basically means that they don't have enough people for this job since a) the school is super hard-core, and b) people tend to not reenlist so they can make three times as much working for the CIA), I'd say my odds are pretty good that they'll follow through and let me do that.

The hard part is waiting for an open spot, which is where I am right now. They don't seem to have too much trouble filling the school (DLI) ; they just have a hard time graduating people from it and then keeping them enlisted. So it's really hard to say right now when I'll actually get to ship out, since the recruiters never know when they'll get a spot, and linguist spots don't seem to come up very often. But the most frustrating part isn't so much the waiting; it's the not knowing how long I'm going to wait. I'm pretty comfy in my holding pattern right now: go to work, hang out with people, take occasional trips, work out. I don't feel as worried about money, cause I know that at some point pretty soon, I'm going to have a steady paycheck (which looks like it will go up to almost $1700 a month as an E-3, not including my lump-sum bonus and monthly bonus for being a linguist; and $1700 is way more than I make monthly now, not including the $500 I take out for rent), which means that I just pretty much have to make my money stretch till I ship out, which shouldn't be a problem at all since I'm still working.

The problem is that since I don't have any idea when I'm leaving, I can't really start planning. And I like planning. Even though I know it's way early, I want to start figuring out what to do with all my stuff, what to do with my car, what will the weather be like when I get to California, and all kinds of mundane details. Not that not having a date has stopped me from starting the planning process. I've already started looking into military discounts on portable storage containers and considering what kind of car I might want to get when I get to Cali. Not having a date just makes planning harder and more frustrating. At least I know that I'll be ready when the time comes.

Anyway, back to positivity. That's pretty much where I like to be anyway. Regardless of the waiting, I am very excited to be doing this. I realize that I could get there and figure out I've made a terrible mistake and that this isn't for me at all, but honestly, I don't think that's going to happen. Okay, after basic, I don't think that will happen. I expect to feel entirely befuddled and out of my depth and disheartened and generally cry-y while I'm at basic. Also, exhausted and in pain. But I also think that as long as I know that going in, I'll probably be okay. And I just think of that as the price to get to all the rest of it. Not to mention that basic is the primary source of all that badassery I'm looking forward to possessing. I know from years of experience that just sitting in a classroom does not, in any way, make you feel hardcore. Ever. Crawling under barbed wire at 5 in the morning and learning how to calculate the trajectory of an airborne missile, however, probably do. I'm guessing.

I'm also still feeling very confident in my decision to join, actually more confident than I think I've ever felt about a decision before. Again, I do recognize that I'm saying all this on this side of basic, but right now, joining feels very...right? It seems very much like the correct thing for me to do. I always loved all the language classes I took, and I did better in those classes than in any others, including my English classes. Though I've also realized that even if I had studied languages in college and gotten my degree, the odds are that I'd still be in the same position I'm in now with my English degree, unable to find a job that doesn't involve teaching. And what better way to use languages than helping to protect my country? With a super-cool top-secret security clearance? And then whenever I did so well on my tests at MEPS, that just felt like a confirmation, that yes, I am where I'm supposed to be.

And actually, my job-searching is what gave me the idea to enlist in the first place, something I had never considered doing before. I remember one morning on my way to work, I was thinking about my job-hunting and how generally unsuccessful it had been, even though I felt like I was doing nothing but applying for jobs. I had been thinking a little about the military, but not in any serious way. So while I was feeling generally disheartened by my lack of career prospects, I did something that I admit, I don't do very often. I prayed. I asked for some kind of guidance on at least what direction I should be heading. Yes, I even asked for a sign. And then I forgot about it. Later, I was browsing Monster.com, which by then I hated doing. I started by looking at editing positions. I looked at every available editing position in the country (not an exaggeration), and I applied for seven of them. This was not unusual. Then I looked up photography jobs, something that I would prefer doing over editing, even though I don't have the skill, training, or equipment for it. I clicked the search button, and (again, not exaggerating) up popped 100 entries (literally) for the US Navy. This, too, wasn't terribly unusual. Except that the site wouldn't let me load the next page, even though it said there were more pages to be looked at. So I tried the search again. Again, I could only see 100 Navy positions, and it wouldn't load the next page. I tried it one more time, and again, the same thing. So, for argument's sake, I tried searching for jobs in translation, something I knew I'd love to do, but I way didn't have the training for. And again, when I hit search, up came 100 jobs with the Navy, and I couldn't get to any other entries. Three times. Also, this was the first time I'd been on Monster since my little plea to God for a road map. Now, do I think God was speaking to me through a job site? I honestly don't know. Not necessarily, but I also don't see any reason why he shouldn't, and you have to admit, that's a little weird. So regardless of whether it was a deity or a bug in the Internets and I'm just superstitious, that was when I really started seriously considering the military, and since then, I've only gotten more excited and more resolved that it was the correct thing for me.

So now, I'm pretty much excited and ready to go. It will suck to leave family and friends and Chris, but I also know that part is gonna happen, regardless. Not to sound like propaganda, but I do feel like this is me starting my life, at least my life as an independent adult, and since that's what I've been trying to do for the last year, I'm pretty much ready to get on that. Not to mention that I'm genuinely excited about what I'm going to be doing. If I weren't, I wouldn't be doing this. But I've been realizing that the only classes from college that I miss (besides the darkroom) are my language classes, and I really do miss them. So I'm ready to see what language I'll be learning, and I'm ready to start learning it.

My mom recently asked me if I had any reservations about joining. Well, what she actually said was, "You don't have any reservations at all, do you?" The way she said it surprised me, because I hadn't realized I was coming across quite that confidently. I do have reservations. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle basic. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle tech school. I'm scared that I'll get in there and end up hating it. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle the military lifestyle. I'm scared they will end up sending me into the middle of the desert with the ginormous spiders, and I'm scared that something will happen to me there. And I imagine I'm going to become even more scared of these things the closer I get to leaving. I am legitimately concerned about all of these things, but a) I have thoroughly researched every one of these concerns, and I truly don't believe they'll end up coming true, and b) more importantly, I don't want to let my fear of what's unfamiliar keep me from doing something that could end up being really great. I was nervous before I started college, too, and that ended up being wonderful. So, while I do have worries, mostly I think it could be pretty great, and I'm excited to see what happens.

I'm In!

As of Friday, I am officially sworn into the United States Air Force.

You might say that MEPS went pretty well. I got to the recruiter's office at 9 a.m. (0900) on Thursday to sign some last-minute paperwork. A pair of twins, both also joining the Air Force after they graduate high school next year to become MPs, were already there, and were coming up with me. They were very nice, and ended up being the only other girls taking the physical at MEPS besides me, so we ended up hanging out quite a bit.

At 10:00 a.m. (1000) our ride to Louisville showed up, a man named John driving a van. He was nice enough, but very very talkative. He loved to tell stories about his fighting days, his time in the Army, his very short wife, his financial stability (he's worth about $3 million and lives in a double-wide), the reason why we're in Iraq, the reason why turning Iraq into a democracy will bring peace to the Middle East, WWII, big guns, big planes, and how he knocked out a biker. John was really entertaining on the way up, though slightly less entertaining on the way back after I'd had two hours of sleep, two major tests, and kind of wanted to nap.

We had one other guy, a kid going into the Army who just really wanted to blow stuff up, to pick up before we went to Louisville. He lived in a town right outside of Fort Knox, so we got to drive through Fort Knox, which was really cool. For the most part, it just looked like more forest, but the occasional 20 tanks on the side of the road or the very large, slow-flying planes definitely hinted that we were going by something big. And the military housing that we saw was absolutely gorgeous. Though I imagine those houses were for officers, but still. And we went by the gold depository. John was telling us about how most of it was underground, and that all the fence and ground around it is rigged so that they can pinpoint exactly where anyone or anything is, on the lawn or the fence. I was definitely glad we got to go through Fort Knox on the way to MEPS. It kind of drove home the sense of being part of something, and the badassery, of what I was about to sign up for.

When we finally got to Louisville, the twins and the Army guy had already taken their ASVAB, so they got dropped off at the hotel, and John took me on to the MEPS building, somewhere in downtown Louisville. Not entirely sure where. John brought me through the metal detectors and showed me where to go, which was probably good, since I most likely would have gotten lost otherwise. Then I got all registered in their system, with my picture and digital fingerprint and everything, and then they sent me on to take the ASVAB.

The ASVAB was pretty much like the SAT, except without the fun analogies. Seriously. I really did kind of like the analogies. But they had sections for word definitions and paragraph comprehension, and then basic arithmetic and slightly more advanced algebra, and then they also had sections for science knowledge about chemistry and geology and physics, and mechanics knowledge where you had to know what part of the car did this or what this tool did, and then there was a spacial reasoning section where you were shown a bunch of fragmented pieces and you had to determine how they went together. Fortunately for me, only the English and math parts went into my final score that determines if I could get in; all the other parts would factor into whether I was eligible for certain jobs, like scientist or mechanic. My final qualifying score ended up being 99, which is out of 99. I had a hard time figuring out what exactly that number meant. At first, I thought it meant that I scored better than 99% of the people who take it. Then someone told me that no, that 99 was my actual score that I got right. But then, I looked it up on Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge and all that is good), and it says I was right the first time, that I scored better than 99% of the people who take it. Though either way, I guess I did pretty well. Though it made it really hard not to sound smug when people asked me what I got. What a heavy burden I bear.

And so I passed the ASVAB. One down, two to go.

After I got my score, it was back to the hotel, where they gave me my room key and a meal ticket to the restaurant in the hotel. When I got to my room, there was no one else there, so I figured I had the room to myself. So after I got settled, I went and grabbed some supper, and on the way back, I saw the twins I rode up with, who waved me over to where they were hanging out with some other military guys. Three of them were about to ship out to basic in the Navy, and the other one was an Army guy who had already been through basic and was about to leave for his tech school. We ended up just hanging out and talking for four or five hours. We talked a little about MEPS and the military, but for the most part, we just relaxed and told jokes. I had expected to be kind of lonely during my night at the hotel, but I ended up having a lot of fun.

Around 9:00 (2100) I gave up and headed to bed, since I knew I would have to be up before the crack of dawn the next morning (breakfast started at 4:15, and we had to be on the bus by 5:30), and I wanted to take a shower beforehand. But when I got back to my room, I discovered I did have a roommate, a girl who was going into the Navy to be a linguist, and who was actually supposed to be shipping out to basic that weekend. She was shy at first, and never really opened up too much, but she seemed sweet. Although, understandably, she was less than pleased when I accidentally set our clock an hour early while I was trying to set the alarm, so while we meant to wake up at 4:00, we got up at around 3:00, thinking it was 4:00. Of course, with the time difference, I was actually getting up at 2:00. That was fun. And yet, I still managed to pass my DLAB.

So after we very grumpily woke up, waited for breakfast to open since we were up so early, and ate, me and my roommate and the twins and a bunch of dudes all got on a bus and headed back to MEPS. By the time we got there, it was just starting to get light outside. Just a little. A Marine was there giving instructions, and he divides us into three lines: those three guys who were leaving for basic, another line for the people like my roommate who had already been through the physical and everything, and everyone else like me and the twins, who still had a very full day to look forward to. Though I realized while I was standing in that line, even though we weren't even recruits yet, that I had never seen a real line of people before. Always before, it was more of a squiggle. I guess something about a Marine makes you want to stand in a straight line. And then, of course, there was the one guy who wanted to try to bring a knife into a government building. He seemed very confused when the Marine told him to put it in the garbage. He seemed even more confused when the Marine didn't seem to care when he'd get it back.

So then we all filed upstairs to where I had taken the ASVAB, and while the poor guys shipping out got to look forward to a long day of nothing, me and all the others taking the physical got sent along pretty quickly. There, it was just a series of physical tests (shocking, I know). They tested my eyes, my depth perception, my hearing, they took my blood and blood pressure (the twins had to have their blood pressure taken three times, because they were always so nervous that it ended up high), asked me a bunch of questions about my medical history and drug use, and then, since the twins and I were the only girls taking the physical that day, the three of us went back to another room where we got to strip to our underwear and do a bunch of silly exercises so they could make sure all our joints worked, then we got to strip down to nothing but a gown and go into a separate room individually with two women who worked there, where one felt up my boobs while the other peeked at my va-jay-jay, I guess to make sure I had one. Then we all got dressed again, and then came the hardest part: we had to pee into a cup. The stall doors had to be open, and one of the ladies was standing in front of us to make sure we didn't do anything to our samples. We all three failed miserably the first time, but about 10 cups of water later, we were finally able to fulfill our mission.

But they finally told me that I passed my physical. Two tests down, one left. (The twins passed, too.)

So then I was on to the DLAB, the language test, which to me was the most important test of all, and the one I was least sure about. I'm not actually allowed to say much about the test (already getting into the super-secret confidential stuff), but there's some stuff about it online, so I figure I can talk about that stuff. The test was pretty much just how well you could learn their made-up language. They set a bunch of rules, like all nouns end in -at, all verbs end in -isi, the subject of the sentence starts with lo-, the direct object starts with li-, and so on (just so you know, I made all those up, so you can't use those to study). They teach you these rules one at a time, then you have to put all of them together at the end to form complete sentences. It actually would have been pretty fun, except that all the answers were read aloud, and they were only repeated once. For the second part, you had a series of four pictures labelled in a different made-up language, and you had to try to figure out what the words meant from the pictures, and then apply them to another set of pictures. That part was a little more fun since I could study it more and didn't feel so rushed. Anyway, I finished the test, and I ended up getting a 141. 176 is the highest, and the Air Force requires 100 minimum to be a linguist. Both the test moderator and my job counsellor said it was the highest score they'd ever seen. :) :) :)

And so, I passed my linguist test (!!!). I am eligible to learn any language they have.

Then, I went to talk to the Air Force job counsellor, who said that I will get to be a linguist. Though we were talking about whether I wanted to be an airborne linguist (translate in planes) or a ground linguist (translate on the ground, probably in an office). I didn't have a strong preference, but he told me I was too short to fly, so the Air Force made my decision on that one. But if I decide I want to be airborne once I get in, I can apply for a waiver. It's just really hard to do before I actually get in. He also confirmed that with my degree, I get to go in as an E-3, three ranks up from the bottom, which makes me an Airman First Class, gets me higher pay, and means I get to wear this snazzy little insignia:
After some more paperwork, it was time to officially swear in and take the Oath of Enlistment. Take the plunge, so to speak. Me and a few other guys were led into a nice ceremony room, where we were lined up and taught how to stand at attention and at ease, so that we could properly greet the lieutenant (or sergeant? I'm not sure what he was) who would be administering the Oath of Enlistment. No saluting yet, though. We all raised our right hand, and said in unison:

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

And so, I am now sworn into the US Air Force.

I'm in the inactive reserves in the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) until they can find me a linguist opening, and then it will be off to basic. My recruiter said the waiting process usually takes about six months.

So now, I wait. And walk around feeling like a badass.

A little more about MEPS, pre-MEPS

So I leave for MEPS on Thursday morning, in three days. I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited. Also a little nervous, but mostly I'm afraid that I won't be able to join, for some hidden disqualification, or I suddenly lose all my test-taking ability and fail the ASVAB, or something like that. Yay, paranoia. But it will be really nice to know for sure that I can join and everything.

Though I talked to my recruiter again today, and it turns out I may not get to leave knowing as much as I thought I would. While I'm there, I will talk to a job counselor, and I'll fill out a list of jobs that I would like, but I won't know if I've gotten that job or when I ship out or anything until later. After MEPS, I have to wait for one of the jobs on my list to open up. The recruiter said the more open I am about jobs and the more I put down, the more quickly I'll get one, but to be honest, I'm in no great hurry, so I feel comfortable waiting for a linguist job to open up. Though linguists are in demand, so hopefully I won't have much of a problem.

I also found out that I am supposed to sign a contract that day (Friday, in my case), and swear in and everything. BUT, this will just be a very basic contract that will put me into the DEP (Delayed Entry Program), which is pretty much a holding pattern until I leave for basic. I will then be in the inactive reserves, so I will technically be in the Air Force, but with no pay or training or really anything at all, and I read online that never once has someone been called out of the DEP program early. Also, it is possible to back out at this stage, though they obviously discourage it. I have read the contract online, and it's a really short 4-page contract, so since I'll already have read what it's supposed to say, I'll know if anything's amiss at MEPS. But while you don't have to sign anything at MEPS, I know I personally have made my decision and have done my research, and I know I want to do it, so I see no reason not to go ahead and sign on Friday (unless, again, something seems amiss). Especially since they won't start looking for my job until they know I'm committed and actually in the Air Force. So, that's where that stands right now.

Also, I found a little seven-minute educational video on YouTube that shows exactly what happens at MEPS, so if anybody's interested, here you go.

So far, so good

Yesterday I turned in my initial application to the Air Force and officially started the process of enlistment. Of course, not before I accidentally walked into the Marines office, where they immediately started trying to recruit me. They seemed a little more desperate than the Air Force. Also, I think my mom would have a coronary if I joined the Marines, and since I like my mom, the Marines is pretty much out. Shoot.

Anyway, my trip to MEPS is scheduled for next Thursday and Friday, the 11th and 12th. I corrected it in the post below, but Air Force actually does MEPS in Louisville instead of Indy, like I had originally thought. But that works for me, since Louisville is closer anyway. Me and a bunch of other candidates from different services are going to be bussed up there at the military's expense, and since it's so far, they're going to put us all up in a hotel on Thursday night.

Now that this is my plan, I've been a little afraid that they're going to find something drastically wrong with me that I didn't know about and tell me I can't join. That would definitely put a damper on my plans, especially since now, I think going back into the job market seems way scarier than 8.5 weeks of basic. At least in basic, I know that it will end, I know when it will end, and I know that all my hard work is actually accomplishing something, which is way more than I can say about my last year and a half of job searching. I think they will probably let me into the Air Force, but I'll still feel better once I know for sure.

My other big concern about MEPS is the DLAB, the language aptitude test. My mom sent me an article about the test, and while I'd read it before, I thought it'd be good to post on here.

Studying for the DLAB

Many people ask if one can study for the DLAB, or if there are any study guides available. The answers are "yes" and "no." There are no commercial study guides available for the DLAB, and one cannot study for the DLAB in the traditional way, as the DLAB is designed to measure language-learning potential, not current knowledge. While one cannot study specific practice questions for the DLAB, one can study grammar and English text books to ensure they have a solid grasp of English grammar before taking the test.

As a current Army Linguist puts it: "...in preparation for the DLAB one can help themselves greatly by ensuring that they have a solid grasp of grammar and syntax in general. One who doesn't know what an adjective is will have serious problems with the DLAB."

According to individuals who have taken (and passed) the DLAB, one can improve their scores by:

• Having a very clear understanding of English grammar. You will need to know all parts of speech and how they work. You may wish to get your hands on a good college level grammar text book and study that for awhile before taking the test. Understand how English sentences are constructed (i.e. Subject-Verb-Object). Fooling around with this construction will help you on the DLAB.
• Be able to recognize accentuation and stress patterns in words. Know where syllable breaks are in words.
• Have some experience with a foreign language. If you want to be a Russian linguist, it is not necessary that you have experience with Russian. However, if you have some experience with a foreign language, it will help you to understand that different languages use sentence structures differently than English.
• Be prepared to interpret instructions based on pictures. For example, a picture of a red car is presented with the word "ZEEZOOM". Next, a picture of a blue car is presented with the word "KEEZOOM". Next, a picture of a red bus is presented with the word "ZEEBOOM". You must be able to give the foreign word for a "blue bus".
• You should also know that on the audio portion of the exam there is no repetition of the questions. Once an item is given there is a brief pause for you to answer and then the next question. Be prepared for this; if you think you can think your way into an answer on any given question you will miss the beginning of the next. This effect can snowball and probably leads to some people with good chances going south due to nerves. Listen carefully and go with your gut. Be ready for the next question.

GIUJOE, a member of our Message Forum, took the DLAB and scored a 146. He offers the following advice:

Contrary to popular belief, you can study for the DLAB. I took the information that About.com gave me, some books from the library, and one good night of studying and I pulled off a 146. The problem is that most native English speakers don't know and don't care much about English grammar. If you have a strong understanding of english grammar, how verbs work, how objects work, how adjectives and possessives work, you'll do fine.

You also need to be open to manipulating those rules. If I tell you that from now on, adjectives follow nouns, then it's not a 'blue dog' no matter how many times I say it, it's a 'dog blue.'

Another hard part for English speakers if finding stress in words. English usually has multiple stresses. Here's an easy tip to find stress. Remember in elementary school when you were studying syllables and the teacher had you knock on a desk for every syllable? Do that!

Let's do the word 'aptitude.' Say the word and knock on the desk. You should get three knocks: ap-ti-tude. Now, do it again and make the strength of your knock correspond to the strength of your voice. You'll find that the stress falls on the first syllable: AP-ti-tude. Do that on the test while the speaker speaks. If you're in a room with multiple people, don't do it on the desk just for politeness sake. Use your leg.

Fred, another individual who has taken the DLAB, offers the following advice:

DLAB is more than having a good understanding of the english language. It also helps if you can understand the dialic of other people. A good help is knowing letters pronounced in other languages. Even better is knowing other languages (Russian, German, Farsee, ect.)

Another point to learn before taking the test is that word order is a major factor. There will be parts of the test where they will say that there will be an ending for the noun(car(se)) and an ending for a adverb(yesterday(e)) but the noun has to come before the adverb and only in that order to be correct. The best way to come to the test is over prepaired and and relaxed.

Qualifying Scores

The DLAB consists of 126 multiple choice questions. Applicable service policies require that each candidate for attendance at the Defense Language Institute be a high school graduate. For admission to a Basic Language Program, the following minimum DLAB scores are required:

• 85 for a Category I language (Dutch, French, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish)
• 90 for a Category II language (German)
• 95 for a Category III language (Belorussian, Czech, Greek, Hebrew, Persian, Polish, Russian, Serbian/Croatian, Slovak, Tagalog [Filipino], Thai, Turkish, Ukrainian, and Vietnamese)
• 100 for a Category IV language (Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean)

Individual services or agencies may demand higher qualifying scores, at their discretion. For example, the Air Force and Marine Corps require a minimum score of 100 on the DLAB for all languages, although the Marine Corps will waiver it to a 90 for Cat I and II languages. The Air Force is not currently approving waivers.

The highest possible score on the DLAB is 176.

Re-Tests

Individuals who fail to achieve a qualifying score on the DLAB can apply to re-test after six months. Requests for re-tests by individuals who have already made a minimum qualifying score are approved only based on documented military necessity, and must be approved by the appropriate commander (ie, recruiting squadron commander).

Taking the Test

The test is divided into two major segments (one audio and one visual).

Audio Segment: The first part of the audio segment tests your ability to recognize stress patterns in words. The narrator on the audio tape will pronounce four words. One of the words pronounced will have a different different stress pattern. Your task is to indicate (on your answer sheet) the word which is stressed differently from the rest.

For example, the narrator would state "A - Navy......B - Army.......C - Burger......D - Replace, stressing the second syllable in the word, "Replace").

The next part of the audio segment begins to introduce rules to a modified English language (created for the sole purpose of the test). You may be told that the rules of this language consist of all nouns preceded by verbs, and nouns and verbs will always end in the same vowel sound. You would then translate a given English phrase into a phrase compatible with the modified language.

For example, you may be shown the phrase "The dog Runs," followed by four choices: A-"Runsie, The dogie;" B-"The dogie runsie;" C-"Runie the dogo;" D-"The dogo runa." Of course, "A" would be the correct answer because the verb precedes the noun and both end in the same vowel sound.

The test will then proceed over several sections, in each section adding a few more made-up rules, covering areas such as how to express possession, or how to express a noun acting on another noun with a verb.

The audio Segment finally climaxes by combining all of the introduced rules and presenting entire sentences or long phrases for your deciphering pleasure.

Jake took the DLAB and score a 138. He offers the following advice concerning the audio portion of the test:

A few times when the speaker was giving the answers I would hear theright one, but by the time he finished, I had forgotten which letterit was. It helped to put a little dot inside theone I thought was right as he was speaking. It also helped to close my eyes while he was reading and listen for keywords.

Visual Segment: The tape is turned off, and all of the rules you studied so hard for on the Audio Segment are no longer applicable. In the visual segment, you will be presented (in your test booklet) pictures combined with words or phrases that (hopefully) will give you -- after some contemplation -- a basic understanding of this gibberish on the test page.

For instance, on one page might have a picture of a parachute at the top. Underneath the parachute there might be something like "paca." Then there might be a picture of a man. The man might be labeled "tanner." Then there might be a picture of a man parachuting which would read "tannerpaca." Then a picture of a man flying in an airplane which might read "tannerpaci."

From that, one can deduct a number of rules of the gibberish language, which you would then apply to the additional pictures on that page of the test booklet.

Unlike the first segment (audio), however, you will then turn the page on your test booklet to see a set of completely unrelated pictures, words and rules.

This same pattern will be completed until the end of the test, at which time you may take a deep sigh of relief, then go home and punch your recruiter in the nose for telling you that the test was "easy."

(Disclaimer. Please do not really punch your recruiter in the nose, as -- in many cases -- this will delay your enlistment.)

I think it will be hard, especially since you don't really have time to process all the information, but I think I'll be able to do it. I've got a strong grasp of English grammar and I know my parts of speech (I would hope so; at least maybe then I've gotten something out of this English degree). I even found this nifty little practice test on the Navy web site. When I took it, I got 10/10. I know the real DLAB will be way way harder, but to be honest, despite my nerves about it determining if I get the job I want and everything, the test itself kind of sounds like fun.

I think maybe I'm also supposed to sign my initial contract at MEPS. I'm pretty sure most people do, but my recruiter said the Air Force has people sign them in the recruiting office after MEPS, so I'll ask him about that again the next time I see him, which will be before I go. Though I also found a copy of the general contract online. Mine will obviously have information about me specifically, including my pay grade going in and stuff like that (which I'll post more details about when I know more definitely what it will be), and any enlistment bonuses and such. Though this first contract, while it will be a real one, will not be the one that "matters." I will technically be in the inactive reserves in the Delayed Enlistment Program (DEP) until I ship out for basic, which I have a year to do from the time I sign this first contract. And if for whatever reason I decide I need to back out before then, I still can while I'm in the DEP. I would get a ton of flak for it, understandably, but it can be done. Right before I leave for basic, I'll go back to MEPS and sign another contract, and that'll be the one that really matters and will enlist me as an active duty airman.

I'm glad to be going to MEPS because then, at least I'll know for sure that a) I can get into the Air Force, b) when I'm leaving, and c) if I'm even eligible to be a linguist. I really hate having stuff that important up in the air like it is right now, so all of these things will be very comforting to know for sure.