Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I got the linguist job!
Due to some kind of mysterious and awesome recruiter magic that I think may have involved minor ritual sacrifice, my recruiter gave my air traffic control job to somebody else, and got me a linguist job! I leave for basic on February 23! Which is actually pretty much perfect, since I was hoping to do basic (in Texas) during the winter. Then it's 8.5 weeks of basic training and then off to Monterey, California by late April or early May. Very, very excited. I don't have any idea yet what language I'll get; I should find that out sometime during basic, probably late-ish. From what I understand, my say in what language I get will be pretty minimal. I'll get to fill out a "dream sheet" of languages I'd like to have, and if one of those happens to match up with one of the ones they need, then that's great, but the needs of the military definitely come first here. Though honestly, while I think it'd be super cool to learn Greek or Hebrew, I'm really not very picky on what language I get, as long as I get to learn one. So yay!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Samson
Listen before reading.
I've been listening to my iPod a lot lately, and the song "Samson" by Regina Spektor keeps coming up. This is probably one of my top ten favorite songs ever, so I really don't mind, but what with my new, shall we say, military mindset, I've started to hear a different meaning behind it.
(I'm not sure that this song actually pertains to the military at all, but I really wanted to share it, so I'm going to make it relevant. I knew that creative writing degree would be useful someday.)
The song is a pretty obvious reference to the biblical story of Samson and Delilah. In the story, Samson is a warrior chosen by God. He possesses enormous strength, but only as long as he never cuts his hair. He falls in love with a woman, Delilah, who is bribed by Philistines to find out the source of Samson's power. After many false answers, he tells her that it lies in his hair, and she has it cut off while he sleeps. God forsakes Samson for cutting his hair, and he loses his strength. The Philistines chain him in his weakness to the pillars of their temple to sacrifice to their god, but by then Samson's hair has grown long again, and he regains his strength. He pulls down the pillars, killing himself and the Philistines.
Ta-da, the original story of Samson and Delilah. Just in case you missed Sunday School. Now to the song.
On first listen, it just sounds like a sweet, simple love song. Spektor's voice is beautiful with a tinge of heartbreak when she sings lines like
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old light
They're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met
I have to admit, at first I was kind of confused by the song, especially the line, "And the Bible didn't mention us, not even once." Because it did. There's a whole story about it. I've read some theories about what the song means, and most people seem to think that it's just saying that they actually loved each other, which the Bible doesn't mention. Though some also think it's not about Delilah at all. I doubt that.
But I think it's a bit more than just "Yes, they loved each other," though that's part of it. After many listens, I've come to the conclusion that it's Delilah saying how she wished the story had gone. How she loved Samson (ignoring the bribery and chains and such), and how she knew that while he had all this power, he could never really be hers. He would always be a hero first.
Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light
This is such an intimate, beautiful scene, in which he's clearly choosing her, forsaking his strength, his destiny, and God, leaving him free to "kiss [her] till the morning light."
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonder bread
and went right back to bed
He couldn't break the columns down
No, he couldn't destroy a single one
and the history books forgot about us
and the Bible didnt mention us
not even once
He didn't pull the pillars down on himself, and he didn't die in that temple. He simply went home to Delilah, living out their lives together and not being heroic at all, and so they were forgotten by history. That's what seems so heartbreaking about the last line, the way Spektor sings, "I loved you first." It sounds like such an aching plea, Delilah telling Samson that she loved him before he was chosen by God, before he became strong and brought the Philistines down on him. She loved him first, and now she just wants him to choose her.
(And now for the tie-in.)
I've been thinking a lot lately, for obvious reasons, about servicemen and women and the people they leave behind. I had mostly been thinking about it from the perspective of the people who leave (again, duh), but especially while keeping up with Amber's blog, I've been considering more the side of the people left behind; husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, parents, children, friends. I wonder, is this how these people sometimes feel too? I'm sure they're all very proud and grateful for their loved one's service, but I imagine there's also a strong feeling of simply wanting to tell them, "Choose me. Leave all these big things behind, and just come home to me. I loved you first."
Complete lyrics:
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met
Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first
Monday, August 3, 2009
A hitch, or a possible opportunity
Well, I just got my first taste of the concept of "the needs of the military." That didn't take long.
About three weeks ago, I went to my first DEP meeting with all the other Air Force people waiting to ship out. Going in, I really wasn't thinking anything of it. Until he said he'd found me a job. At first I was just surprised, since I way wasn't expecting one so quickly. Then I was nervous, because I hadn't expected to leave so soon, and just general early nerves about leaving, boot camp, etc. And then I was excited, because I've been feeling ready and anxious to start my life, as it were, and head out to Cali and start learning a language.
And then he told me that my job was not as a linguist, but as an air traffic controller. And I could just feel my face fall.
I knew going in that this was a risk, and that I might get picked for a different job. At MEPS, they had had me pick five jobs, and I had agreed that I'd be able and willing to do any of them. Of course, everyone kept saying that with my high DLAB score and the military's need for linguists, I'd almost definitely get that job, so I didn't need to worry too much about the other ones on my list. Wrong. But, I had agreed to it, and it was a risk I accepted, so I really couldn't be mad about it. That didn't mean that I wasn't really disappointed and a bit confused, though.
So, after a few minutes of me sitting very very still while he tried to sell me on air traffic control by telling me how much money they make (I did manage to tell him that that really wasn't one of my concerns), I recovered enough to start processing, and then to start looking at options.
I know that the needs of the Air Force came first, but I'm also pretty certain that I'd be able to serve them and myself much better by being a linguist rather than an ATC, due in no small part to the fact that historically, I'm not the greatest with the being-under-pressure. And ATC is a super stressful job. As in, you make a mistake and 300 people die. No wonder it has such a high suicide rate (also a problem).
But, that's the job they've assigned to me. So, there we are.
And, to make matters more frustrating, there's another kid who had just sworn in that day who actually wants to do ATC. My recruiter called his superior to see if they could just switch us and make everybody happy, but apparently the paperwork had already gone too far for that. Boo.
BUT, if a linguist job happens to come up before I leave for basic for ATC, and as long as no one else wants it, then to fill all the job openings, they can move me to linguist and move this other kid into my ATC spot. That would be super sweet.
I've also started considering an option I'd pretty much written off a while ago, of becoming an officer. I think I'd become so single-minded about being a linguist that I hadn't really considered any other jobs, and since there are no linguist officers, I'd didn't really look into it. And I still say that leading people isn't my favoritest thing in the world, but there are certainly perks. The substantially better pay and housing, for one. And the opportunity to travel more than I would have gotten as a linguist. And while there isn't a linguist officer, there is an intelligence officer, which is pretty much who linguists report to, so that could be pretty cool. I still think I'd rather be a linguist, but I do definitely think it's worth considering.
Regardless, the whole thing has at least made me take a serious look at why I want to join the military, what I want out of my time there, and ultimately the general path I see my life taking in the relatively near future. At first, I just started looking into it because I couldn't find a "real job." I wanted to learn a language, and I figured the Air Force would be a pretty sweet way to do it, but up until then I had had no military aspirations whatsoever. It was mostly just a means to an end.
So whenever my recruiter first said that it looked like I couldn't be a linguist, it was like watching that entire future I'd been so excited about just crumble away. No California, no learning a language, no getting paid to translate things.
So then I thought, now what?
But when I thought about going back into the job-hunting foray, that made me even more depressed than air traffic control. Mostly, it all came together (as many things seem to do) when I was talking to my mom about it. She asked me a question that I hadn't thought to ask myself. She said, "What's more important to you, joining the Air Force or being a linguist?"
And I realized, much to my surprise, that the answer was joining the Air Force. After all, even if I do end up doing ATC, I can always try to retrain into linguist later. They still need linguists. And I'd still be significantly more secure financially, and still have many more options open to me in the Air Force than I would as a civilian, regardless of the job. And I could always teach myself a language later, or get Rosetta Stone, or use some of that money that military personnel get for school to go take more language classes. And even if I got out after four or six years, I'd still be able to call myself a veteran and still have the personal pride of having served my country and done something so entirely outside my comfort zone.
So, surprisingly enough, even if it ends up that I can't be an Air Force linguist, I'd still like to be an Airman. Very interesting. And pretty nice to know.
Of course, if they'd just let me be a linguist, that'd be pretty awesome too.
About three weeks ago, I went to my first DEP meeting with all the other Air Force people waiting to ship out. Going in, I really wasn't thinking anything of it. Until he said he'd found me a job. At first I was just surprised, since I way wasn't expecting one so quickly. Then I was nervous, because I hadn't expected to leave so soon, and just general early nerves about leaving, boot camp, etc. And then I was excited, because I've been feeling ready and anxious to start my life, as it were, and head out to Cali and start learning a language.
And then he told me that my job was not as a linguist, but as an air traffic controller. And I could just feel my face fall.
I knew going in that this was a risk, and that I might get picked for a different job. At MEPS, they had had me pick five jobs, and I had agreed that I'd be able and willing to do any of them. Of course, everyone kept saying that with my high DLAB score and the military's need for linguists, I'd almost definitely get that job, so I didn't need to worry too much about the other ones on my list. Wrong. But, I had agreed to it, and it was a risk I accepted, so I really couldn't be mad about it. That didn't mean that I wasn't really disappointed and a bit confused, though.
So, after a few minutes of me sitting very very still while he tried to sell me on air traffic control by telling me how much money they make (I did manage to tell him that that really wasn't one of my concerns), I recovered enough to start processing, and then to start looking at options.
I know that the needs of the Air Force came first, but I'm also pretty certain that I'd be able to serve them and myself much better by being a linguist rather than an ATC, due in no small part to the fact that historically, I'm not the greatest with the being-under-pressure. And ATC is a super stressful job. As in, you make a mistake and 300 people die. No wonder it has such a high suicide rate (also a problem).
But, that's the job they've assigned to me. So, there we are.
And, to make matters more frustrating, there's another kid who had just sworn in that day who actually wants to do ATC. My recruiter called his superior to see if they could just switch us and make everybody happy, but apparently the paperwork had already gone too far for that. Boo.
BUT, if a linguist job happens to come up before I leave for basic for ATC, and as long as no one else wants it, then to fill all the job openings, they can move me to linguist and move this other kid into my ATC spot. That would be super sweet.
I've also started considering an option I'd pretty much written off a while ago, of becoming an officer. I think I'd become so single-minded about being a linguist that I hadn't really considered any other jobs, and since there are no linguist officers, I'd didn't really look into it. And I still say that leading people isn't my favoritest thing in the world, but there are certainly perks. The substantially better pay and housing, for one. And the opportunity to travel more than I would have gotten as a linguist. And while there isn't a linguist officer, there is an intelligence officer, which is pretty much who linguists report to, so that could be pretty cool. I still think I'd rather be a linguist, but I do definitely think it's worth considering.
Regardless, the whole thing has at least made me take a serious look at why I want to join the military, what I want out of my time there, and ultimately the general path I see my life taking in the relatively near future. At first, I just started looking into it because I couldn't find a "real job." I wanted to learn a language, and I figured the Air Force would be a pretty sweet way to do it, but up until then I had had no military aspirations whatsoever. It was mostly just a means to an end.
So whenever my recruiter first said that it looked like I couldn't be a linguist, it was like watching that entire future I'd been so excited about just crumble away. No California, no learning a language, no getting paid to translate things.
So then I thought, now what?
But when I thought about going back into the job-hunting foray, that made me even more depressed than air traffic control. Mostly, it all came together (as many things seem to do) when I was talking to my mom about it. She asked me a question that I hadn't thought to ask myself. She said, "What's more important to you, joining the Air Force or being a linguist?"
And I realized, much to my surprise, that the answer was joining the Air Force. After all, even if I do end up doing ATC, I can always try to retrain into linguist later. They still need linguists. And I'd still be significantly more secure financially, and still have many more options open to me in the Air Force than I would as a civilian, regardless of the job. And I could always teach myself a language later, or get Rosetta Stone, or use some of that money that military personnel get for school to go take more language classes. And even if I got out after four or six years, I'd still be able to call myself a veteran and still have the personal pride of having served my country and done something so entirely outside my comfort zone.
So, surprisingly enough, even if it ends up that I can't be an Air Force linguist, I'd still like to be an Airman. Very interesting. And pretty nice to know.
Of course, if they'd just let me be a linguist, that'd be pretty awesome too.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Happy Independence Day!
I realize I'm a little late on this, but oh well. I tend to celebrate holidays when it's more convenient, anyway. Mostly I just wanted to say that I <3 this country, whether I'm in the military or not. I feel very lucky to live in a country where at least we know our votes get counted, whether the person we voted for wins or not; where we have the luxury to worry about things like carbon emissions; where if a political figure goes missing, it's not because he was kidnapped, tortured, and killed for dissention; and where his Argentine sex-capades and the death of a singer with only one glove are apparently the biggest things we have to worry about.
I also wanted to shamelessly steal my friend Amber's lovely video that she made for the occasion to celebrate and honor the people who fought to win us this independence, and the people to continue to fight for it. And this is her blog about working with Soldiers' Angels, where this video is also posted.
I also wanted to shamelessly steal my friend Amber's lovely video that she made for the occasion to celebrate and honor the people who fought to win us this independence, and the people to continue to fight for it. And this is her blog about working with Soldiers' Angels, where this video is also posted.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
And now for something completely different
(AKA introspection) (AKA mushy emotional crap, because I can)
Because I'm sure the entire Internet is waiting, breathless with anticipation, to know how I'm feeling about waiting and doing nothing. Truly, this is a blessed day.
But honestly, I mostly just wanted to record so I can look back at it later with mild interest. Also, in case someone in my same situation happens to stumble randomly across my blog and think, "I wonder if she's feeling the same way I am? She is? That's comforting." Also, in case my family's reading and were wondering. Also, because I'm a little egotistical and there's something very satisfying about updating your blog.
On with the show...
So right now, I'm pretty much in limbo. I've passed all my tests, which is vastly comforting, and I've sworn in, which means I'm more or less committed and I get to put a sticker on my car. I know I'm signed up to be a "cryptologic linguist" (1N3XX), and since this is a "critically manned" field (which basically means that they don't have enough people for this job since a) the school is super hard-core, and b) people tend to not reenlist so they can make three times as much working for the CIA), I'd say my odds are pretty good that they'll follow through and let me do that.
The hard part is waiting for an open spot, which is where I am right now. They don't seem to have too much trouble filling the school (DLI) ; they just have a hard time graduating people from it and then keeping them enlisted. So it's really hard to say right now when I'll actually get to ship out, since the recruiters never know when they'll get a spot, and linguist spots don't seem to come up very often. But the most frustrating part isn't so much the waiting; it's the not knowing how long I'm going to wait. I'm pretty comfy in my holding pattern right now: go to work, hang out with people, take occasional trips, work out. I don't feel as worried about money, cause I know that at some point pretty soon, I'm going to have a steady paycheck (which looks like it will go up to almost $1700 a month as an E-3, not including my lump-sum bonus and monthly bonus for being a linguist; and $1700 is way more than I make monthly now, not including the $500 I take out for rent), which means that I just pretty much have to make my money stretch till I ship out, which shouldn't be a problem at all since I'm still working.
The problem is that since I don't have any idea when I'm leaving, I can't really start planning. And I like planning. Even though I know it's way early, I want to start figuring out what to do with all my stuff, what to do with my car, what will the weather be like when I get to California, and all kinds of mundane details. Not that not having a date has stopped me from starting the planning process. I've already started looking into military discounts on portable storage containers and considering what kind of car I might want to get when I get to Cali. Not having a date just makes planning harder and more frustrating. At least I know that I'll be ready when the time comes.
Anyway, back to positivity. That's pretty much where I like to be anyway. Regardless of the waiting, I am very excited to be doing this. I realize that I could get there and figure out I've made a terrible mistake and that this isn't for me at all, but honestly, I don't think that's going to happen. Okay, after basic, I don't think that will happen. I expect to feel entirely befuddled and out of my depth and disheartened and generally cry-y while I'm at basic. Also, exhausted and in pain. But I also think that as long as I know that going in, I'll probably be okay. And I just think of that as the price to get to all the rest of it. Not to mention that basic is the primary source of all that badassery I'm looking forward to possessing. I know from years of experience that just sitting in a classroom does not, in any way, make you feel hardcore. Ever. Crawling under barbed wire at 5 in the morning and learning how to calculate the trajectory of an airborne missile, however, probably do. I'm guessing.
I'm also still feeling very confident in my decision to join, actually more confident than I think I've ever felt about a decision before. Again, I do recognize that I'm saying all this on this side of basic, but right now, joining feels very...right? It seems very much like the correct thing for me to do. I always loved all the language classes I took, and I did better in those classes than in any others, including my English classes. Though I've also realized that even if I had studied languages in college and gotten my degree, the odds are that I'd still be in the same position I'm in now with my English degree, unable to find a job that doesn't involve teaching. And what better way to use languages than helping to protect my country? With a super-cool top-secret security clearance? And then whenever I did so well on my tests at MEPS, that just felt like a confirmation, that yes, I am where I'm supposed to be.
And actually, my job-searching is what gave me the idea to enlist in the first place, something I had never considered doing before. I remember one morning on my way to work, I was thinking about my job-hunting and how generally unsuccessful it had been, even though I felt like I was doing nothing but applying for jobs. I had been thinking a little about the military, but not in any serious way. So while I was feeling generally disheartened by my lack of career prospects, I did something that I admit, I don't do very often. I prayed. I asked for some kind of guidance on at least what direction I should be heading. Yes, I even asked for a sign. And then I forgot about it. Later, I was browsing Monster.com, which by then I hated doing. I started by looking at editing positions. I looked at every available editing position in the country (not an exaggeration), and I applied for seven of them. This was not unusual. Then I looked up photography jobs, something that I would prefer doing over editing, even though I don't have the skill, training, or equipment for it. I clicked the search button, and (again, not exaggerating) up popped 100 entries (literally) for the US Navy. This, too, wasn't terribly unusual. Except that the site wouldn't let me load the next page, even though it said there were more pages to be looked at. So I tried the search again. Again, I could only see 100 Navy positions, and it wouldn't load the next page. I tried it one more time, and again, the same thing. So, for argument's sake, I tried searching for jobs in translation, something I knew I'd love to do, but I way didn't have the training for. And again, when I hit search, up came 100 jobs with the Navy, and I couldn't get to any other entries. Three times. Also, this was the first time I'd been on Monster since my little plea to God for a road map. Now, do I think God was speaking to me through a job site? I honestly don't know. Not necessarily, but I also don't see any reason why he shouldn't, and you have to admit, that's a little weird. So regardless of whether it was a deity or a bug in the Internets and I'm just superstitious, that was when I really started seriously considering the military, and since then, I've only gotten more excited and more resolved that it was the correct thing for me.
So now, I'm pretty much excited and ready to go. It will suck to leave family and friends and Chris, but I also know that part is gonna happen, regardless. Not to sound like propaganda, but I do feel like this is me starting my life, at least my life as an independent adult, and since that's what I've been trying to do for the last year, I'm pretty much ready to get on that. Not to mention that I'm genuinely excited about what I'm going to be doing. If I weren't, I wouldn't be doing this. But I've been realizing that the only classes from college that I miss (besides the darkroom) are my language classes, and I really do miss them. So I'm ready to see what language I'll be learning, and I'm ready to start learning it.
My mom recently asked me if I had any reservations about joining. Well, what she actually said was, "You don't have any reservations at all, do you?" The way she said it surprised me, because I hadn't realized I was coming across quite that confidently. I do have reservations. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle basic. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle tech school. I'm scared that I'll get in there and end up hating it. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle the military lifestyle. I'm scared they will end up sending me into the middle of the desert with the ginormous spiders, and I'm scared that something will happen to me there. And I imagine I'm going to become even more scared of these things the closer I get to leaving. I am legitimately concerned about all of these things, but a) I have thoroughly researched every one of these concerns, and I truly don't believe they'll end up coming true, and b) more importantly, I don't want to let my fear of what's unfamiliar keep me from doing something that could end up being really great. I was nervous before I started college, too, and that ended up being wonderful. So, while I do have worries, mostly I think it could be pretty great, and I'm excited to see what happens.
Because I'm sure the entire Internet is waiting, breathless with anticipation, to know how I'm feeling about waiting and doing nothing. Truly, this is a blessed day.
But honestly, I mostly just wanted to record so I can look back at it later with mild interest. Also, in case someone in my same situation happens to stumble randomly across my blog and think, "I wonder if she's feeling the same way I am? She is? That's comforting." Also, in case my family's reading and were wondering. Also, because I'm a little egotistical and there's something very satisfying about updating your blog.
On with the show...
So right now, I'm pretty much in limbo. I've passed all my tests, which is vastly comforting, and I've sworn in, which means I'm more or less committed and I get to put a sticker on my car. I know I'm signed up to be a "cryptologic linguist" (1N3XX), and since this is a "critically manned" field (which basically means that they don't have enough people for this job since a) the school is super hard-core, and b) people tend to not reenlist so they can make three times as much working for the CIA), I'd say my odds are pretty good that they'll follow through and let me do that.
The hard part is waiting for an open spot, which is where I am right now. They don't seem to have too much trouble filling the school (DLI) ; they just have a hard time graduating people from it and then keeping them enlisted. So it's really hard to say right now when I'll actually get to ship out, since the recruiters never know when they'll get a spot, and linguist spots don't seem to come up very often. But the most frustrating part isn't so much the waiting; it's the not knowing how long I'm going to wait. I'm pretty comfy in my holding pattern right now: go to work, hang out with people, take occasional trips, work out. I don't feel as worried about money, cause I know that at some point pretty soon, I'm going to have a steady paycheck (which looks like it will go up to almost $1700 a month as an E-3, not including my lump-sum bonus and monthly bonus for being a linguist; and $1700 is way more than I make monthly now, not including the $500 I take out for rent), which means that I just pretty much have to make my money stretch till I ship out, which shouldn't be a problem at all since I'm still working.
The problem is that since I don't have any idea when I'm leaving, I can't really start planning. And I like planning. Even though I know it's way early, I want to start figuring out what to do with all my stuff, what to do with my car, what will the weather be like when I get to California, and all kinds of mundane details. Not that not having a date has stopped me from starting the planning process. I've already started looking into military discounts on portable storage containers and considering what kind of car I might want to get when I get to Cali. Not having a date just makes planning harder and more frustrating. At least I know that I'll be ready when the time comes.
Anyway, back to positivity. That's pretty much where I like to be anyway. Regardless of the waiting, I am very excited to be doing this. I realize that I could get there and figure out I've made a terrible mistake and that this isn't for me at all, but honestly, I don't think that's going to happen. Okay, after basic, I don't think that will happen. I expect to feel entirely befuddled and out of my depth and disheartened and generally cry-y while I'm at basic. Also, exhausted and in pain. But I also think that as long as I know that going in, I'll probably be okay. And I just think of that as the price to get to all the rest of it. Not to mention that basic is the primary source of all that badassery I'm looking forward to possessing. I know from years of experience that just sitting in a classroom does not, in any way, make you feel hardcore. Ever. Crawling under barbed wire at 5 in the morning and learning how to calculate the trajectory of an airborne missile, however, probably do. I'm guessing.
I'm also still feeling very confident in my decision to join, actually more confident than I think I've ever felt about a decision before. Again, I do recognize that I'm saying all this on this side of basic, but right now, joining feels very...right? It seems very much like the correct thing for me to do. I always loved all the language classes I took, and I did better in those classes than in any others, including my English classes. Though I've also realized that even if I had studied languages in college and gotten my degree, the odds are that I'd still be in the same position I'm in now with my English degree, unable to find a job that doesn't involve teaching. And what better way to use languages than helping to protect my country? With a super-cool top-secret security clearance? And then whenever I did so well on my tests at MEPS, that just felt like a confirmation, that yes, I am where I'm supposed to be.
And actually, my job-searching is what gave me the idea to enlist in the first place, something I had never considered doing before. I remember one morning on my way to work, I was thinking about my job-hunting and how generally unsuccessful it had been, even though I felt like I was doing nothing but applying for jobs. I had been thinking a little about the military, but not in any serious way. So while I was feeling generally disheartened by my lack of career prospects, I did something that I admit, I don't do very often. I prayed. I asked for some kind of guidance on at least what direction I should be heading. Yes, I even asked for a sign. And then I forgot about it. Later, I was browsing Monster.com, which by then I hated doing. I started by looking at editing positions. I looked at every available editing position in the country (not an exaggeration), and I applied for seven of them. This was not unusual. Then I looked up photography jobs, something that I would prefer doing over editing, even though I don't have the skill, training, or equipment for it. I clicked the search button, and (again, not exaggerating) up popped 100 entries (literally) for the US Navy. This, too, wasn't terribly unusual. Except that the site wouldn't let me load the next page, even though it said there were more pages to be looked at. So I tried the search again. Again, I could only see 100 Navy positions, and it wouldn't load the next page. I tried it one more time, and again, the same thing. So, for argument's sake, I tried searching for jobs in translation, something I knew I'd love to do, but I way didn't have the training for. And again, when I hit search, up came 100 jobs with the Navy, and I couldn't get to any other entries. Three times. Also, this was the first time I'd been on Monster since my little plea to God for a road map. Now, do I think God was speaking to me through a job site? I honestly don't know. Not necessarily, but I also don't see any reason why he shouldn't, and you have to admit, that's a little weird. So regardless of whether it was a deity or a bug in the Internets and I'm just superstitious, that was when I really started seriously considering the military, and since then, I've only gotten more excited and more resolved that it was the correct thing for me.
So now, I'm pretty much excited and ready to go. It will suck to leave family and friends and Chris, but I also know that part is gonna happen, regardless. Not to sound like propaganda, but I do feel like this is me starting my life, at least my life as an independent adult, and since that's what I've been trying to do for the last year, I'm pretty much ready to get on that. Not to mention that I'm genuinely excited about what I'm going to be doing. If I weren't, I wouldn't be doing this. But I've been realizing that the only classes from college that I miss (besides the darkroom) are my language classes, and I really do miss them. So I'm ready to see what language I'll be learning, and I'm ready to start learning it.
My mom recently asked me if I had any reservations about joining. Well, what she actually said was, "You don't have any reservations at all, do you?" The way she said it surprised me, because I hadn't realized I was coming across quite that confidently. I do have reservations. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle basic. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle tech school. I'm scared that I'll get in there and end up hating it. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle the military lifestyle. I'm scared they will end up sending me into the middle of the desert with the ginormous spiders, and I'm scared that something will happen to me there. And I imagine I'm going to become even more scared of these things the closer I get to leaving. I am legitimately concerned about all of these things, but a) I have thoroughly researched every one of these concerns, and I truly don't believe they'll end up coming true, and b) more importantly, I don't want to let my fear of what's unfamiliar keep me from doing something that could end up being really great. I was nervous before I started college, too, and that ended up being wonderful. So, while I do have worries, mostly I think it could be pretty great, and I'm excited to see what happens.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I'm In!
As of Friday, I am officially sworn into the United States Air Force.
You might say that MEPS went pretty well. I got to the recruiter's office at 9 a.m. (0900) on Thursday to sign some last-minute paperwork. A pair of twins, both also joining the Air Force after they graduate high school next year to become MPs, were already there, and were coming up with me. They were very nice, and ended up being the only other girls taking the physical at MEPS besides me, so we ended up hanging out quite a bit.
At 10:00 a.m. (1000) our ride to Louisville showed up, a man named John driving a van. He was nice enough, but very very talkative. He loved to tell stories about his fighting days, his time in the Army, his very short wife, his financial stability (he's worth about $3 million and lives in a double-wide), the reason why we're in Iraq, the reason why turning Iraq into a democracy will bring peace to the Middle East, WWII, big guns, big planes, and how he knocked out a biker. John was really entertaining on the way up, though slightly less entertaining on the way back after I'd had two hours of sleep, two major tests, and kind of wanted to nap.
We had one other guy, a kid going into the Army who just really wanted to blow stuff up, to pick up before we went to Louisville. He lived in a town right outside of Fort Knox, so we got to drive through Fort Knox, which was really cool. For the most part, it just looked like more forest, but the occasional 20 tanks on the side of the road or the very large, slow-flying planes definitely hinted that we were going by something big. And the military housing that we saw was absolutely gorgeous. Though I imagine those houses were for officers, but still. And we went by the gold depository. John was telling us about how most of it was underground, and that all the fence and ground around it is rigged so that they can pinpoint exactly where anyone or anything is, on the lawn or the fence. I was definitely glad we got to go through Fort Knox on the way to MEPS. It kind of drove home the sense of being part of something, and the badassery, of what I was about to sign up for.
When we finally got to Louisville, the twins and the Army guy had already taken their ASVAB, so they got dropped off at the hotel, and John took me on to the MEPS building, somewhere in downtown Louisville. Not entirely sure where. John brought me through the metal detectors and showed me where to go, which was probably good, since I most likely would have gotten lost otherwise. Then I got all registered in their system, with my picture and digital fingerprint and everything, and then they sent me on to take the ASVAB.
The ASVAB was pretty much like the SAT, except without the fun analogies. Seriously. I really did kind of like the analogies. But they had sections for word definitions and paragraph comprehension, and then basic arithmetic and slightly more advanced algebra, and then they also had sections for science knowledge about chemistry and geology and physics, and mechanics knowledge where you had to know what part of the car did this or what this tool did, and then there was a spacial reasoning section where you were shown a bunch of fragmented pieces and you had to determine how they went together. Fortunately for me, only the English and math parts went into my final score that determines if I could get in; all the other parts would factor into whether I was eligible for certain jobs, like scientist or mechanic. My final qualifying score ended up being 99, which is out of 99. I had a hard time figuring out what exactly that number meant. At first, I thought it meant that I scored better than 99% of the people who take it. Then someone told me that no, that 99 was my actual score that I got right. But then, I looked it up on Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge and all that is good), and it says I was right the first time, that I scored better than 99% of the people who take it. Though either way, I guess I did pretty well. Though it made it really hard not to sound smug when people asked me what I got. What a heavy burden I bear.
And so I passed the ASVAB. One down, two to go.
After I got my score, it was back to the hotel, where they gave me my room key and a meal ticket to the restaurant in the hotel. When I got to my room, there was no one else there, so I figured I had the room to myself. So after I got settled, I went and grabbed some supper, and on the way back, I saw the twins I rode up with, who waved me over to where they were hanging out with some other military guys. Three of them were about to ship out to basic in the Navy, and the other one was an Army guy who had already been through basic and was about to leave for his tech school. We ended up just hanging out and talking for four or five hours. We talked a little about MEPS and the military, but for the most part, we just relaxed and told jokes. I had expected to be kind of lonely during my night at the hotel, but I ended up having a lot of fun.
Around 9:00 (2100) I gave up and headed to bed, since I knew I would have to be up before the crack of dawn the next morning (breakfast started at 4:15, and we had to be on the bus by 5:30), and I wanted to take a shower beforehand. But when I got back to my room, I discovered I did have a roommate, a girl who was going into the Navy to be a linguist, and who was actually supposed to be shipping out to basic that weekend. She was shy at first, and never really opened up too much, but she seemed sweet. Although, understandably, she was less than pleased when I accidentally set our clock an hour early while I was trying to set the alarm, so while we meant to wake up at 4:00, we got up at around 3:00, thinking it was 4:00. Of course, with the time difference, I was actually getting up at 2:00. That was fun. And yet, I still managed to pass my DLAB.
So after we very grumpily woke up, waited for breakfast to open since we were up so early, and ate, me and my roommate and the twins and a bunch of dudes all got on a bus and headed back to MEPS. By the time we got there, it was just starting to get light outside. Just a little. A Marine was there giving instructions, and he divides us into three lines: those three guys who were leaving for basic, another line for the people like my roommate who had already been through the physical and everything, and everyone else like me and the twins, who still had a very full day to look forward to. Though I realized while I was standing in that line, even though we weren't even recruits yet, that I had never seen a real line of people before. Always before, it was more of a squiggle. I guess something about a Marine makes you want to stand in a straight line. And then, of course, there was the one guy who wanted to try to bring a knife into a government building. He seemed very confused when the Marine told him to put it in the garbage. He seemed even more confused when the Marine didn't seem to care when he'd get it back.
So then we all filed upstairs to where I had taken the ASVAB, and while the poor guys shipping out got to look forward to a long day of nothing, me and all the others taking the physical got sent along pretty quickly. There, it was just a series of physical tests (shocking, I know). They tested my eyes, my depth perception, my hearing, they took my blood and blood pressure (the twins had to have their blood pressure taken three times, because they were always so nervous that it ended up high), asked me a bunch of questions about my medical history and drug use, and then, since the twins and I were the only girls taking the physical that day, the three of us went back to another room where we got to strip to our underwear and do a bunch of silly exercises so they could make sure all our joints worked, then we got to strip down to nothing but a gown and go into a separate room individually with two women who worked there, where one felt up my boobs while the other peeked at my va-jay-jay, I guess to make sure I had one. Then we all got dressed again, and then came the hardest part: we had to pee into a cup. The stall doors had to be open, and one of the ladies was standing in front of us to make sure we didn't do anything to our samples. We all three failed miserably the first time, but about 10 cups of water later, we were finally able to fulfill our mission.
But they finally told me that I passed my physical. Two tests down, one left. (The twins passed, too.)
So then I was on to the DLAB, the language test, which to me was the most important test of all, and the one I was least sure about. I'm not actually allowed to say much about the test (already getting into the super-secret confidential stuff), but there's some stuff about it online, so I figure I can talk about that stuff. The test was pretty much just how well you could learn their made-up language. They set a bunch of rules, like all nouns end in -at, all verbs end in -isi, the subject of the sentence starts with lo-, the direct object starts with li-, and so on (just so you know, I made all those up, so you can't use those to study). They teach you these rules one at a time, then you have to put all of them together at the end to form complete sentences. It actually would have been pretty fun, except that all the answers were read aloud, and they were only repeated once. For the second part, you had a series of four pictures labelled in a different made-up language, and you had to try to figure out what the words meant from the pictures, and then apply them to another set of pictures. That part was a little more fun since I could study it more and didn't feel so rushed. Anyway, I finished the test, and I ended up getting a 141. 176 is the highest, and the Air Force requires 100 minimum to be a linguist. Both the test moderator and my job counsellor said it was the highest score they'd ever seen. :) :) :)
And so, I passed my linguist test (!!!). I am eligible to learn any language they have.
Then, I went to talk to the Air Force job counsellor, who said that I will get to be a linguist. Though we were talking about whether I wanted to be an airborne linguist (translate in planes) or a ground linguist (translate on the ground, probably in an office). I didn't have a strong preference, but he told me I was too short to fly, so the Air Force made my decision on that one. But if I decide I want to be airborne once I get in, I can apply for a waiver. It's just really hard to do before I actually get in. He also confirmed that with my degree, I get to go in as an E-3, three ranks up from the bottom, which makes me an Airman First Class, gets me higher pay, and means I get to wear this snazzy little insignia:
After some more paperwork, it was time to officially swear in and take the Oath of Enlistment. Take the plunge, so to speak. Me and a few other guys were led into a nice ceremony room, where we were lined up and taught how to stand at attention and at ease, so that we could properly greet the lieutenant (or sergeant? I'm not sure what he was) who would be administering the Oath of Enlistment. No saluting yet, though. We all raised our right hand, and said in unison:
I'm in the inactive reserves in the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) until they can find me a linguist opening, and then it will be off to basic. My recruiter said the waiting process usually takes about six months.
So now, I wait. And walk around feeling like a badass.
You might say that MEPS went pretty well. I got to the recruiter's office at 9 a.m. (0900) on Thursday to sign some last-minute paperwork. A pair of twins, both also joining the Air Force after they graduate high school next year to become MPs, were already there, and were coming up with me. They were very nice, and ended up being the only other girls taking the physical at MEPS besides me, so we ended up hanging out quite a bit.
At 10:00 a.m. (1000) our ride to Louisville showed up, a man named John driving a van. He was nice enough, but very very talkative. He loved to tell stories about his fighting days, his time in the Army, his very short wife, his financial stability (he's worth about $3 million and lives in a double-wide), the reason why we're in Iraq, the reason why turning Iraq into a democracy will bring peace to the Middle East, WWII, big guns, big planes, and how he knocked out a biker. John was really entertaining on the way up, though slightly less entertaining on the way back after I'd had two hours of sleep, two major tests, and kind of wanted to nap.
We had one other guy, a kid going into the Army who just really wanted to blow stuff up, to pick up before we went to Louisville. He lived in a town right outside of Fort Knox, so we got to drive through Fort Knox, which was really cool. For the most part, it just looked like more forest, but the occasional 20 tanks on the side of the road or the very large, slow-flying planes definitely hinted that we were going by something big. And the military housing that we saw was absolutely gorgeous. Though I imagine those houses were for officers, but still. And we went by the gold depository. John was telling us about how most of it was underground, and that all the fence and ground around it is rigged so that they can pinpoint exactly where anyone or anything is, on the lawn or the fence. I was definitely glad we got to go through Fort Knox on the way to MEPS. It kind of drove home the sense of being part of something, and the badassery, of what I was about to sign up for.
When we finally got to Louisville, the twins and the Army guy had already taken their ASVAB, so they got dropped off at the hotel, and John took me on to the MEPS building, somewhere in downtown Louisville. Not entirely sure where. John brought me through the metal detectors and showed me where to go, which was probably good, since I most likely would have gotten lost otherwise. Then I got all registered in their system, with my picture and digital fingerprint and everything, and then they sent me on to take the ASVAB.
The ASVAB was pretty much like the SAT, except without the fun analogies. Seriously. I really did kind of like the analogies. But they had sections for word definitions and paragraph comprehension, and then basic arithmetic and slightly more advanced algebra, and then they also had sections for science knowledge about chemistry and geology and physics, and mechanics knowledge where you had to know what part of the car did this or what this tool did, and then there was a spacial reasoning section where you were shown a bunch of fragmented pieces and you had to determine how they went together. Fortunately for me, only the English and math parts went into my final score that determines if I could get in; all the other parts would factor into whether I was eligible for certain jobs, like scientist or mechanic. My final qualifying score ended up being 99, which is out of 99. I had a hard time figuring out what exactly that number meant. At first, I thought it meant that I scored better than 99% of the people who take it. Then someone told me that no, that 99 was my actual score that I got right. But then, I looked it up on Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge and all that is good), and it says I was right the first time, that I scored better than 99% of the people who take it. Though either way, I guess I did pretty well. Though it made it really hard not to sound smug when people asked me what I got. What a heavy burden I bear.
And so I passed the ASVAB. One down, two to go.
After I got my score, it was back to the hotel, where they gave me my room key and a meal ticket to the restaurant in the hotel. When I got to my room, there was no one else there, so I figured I had the room to myself. So after I got settled, I went and grabbed some supper, and on the way back, I saw the twins I rode up with, who waved me over to where they were hanging out with some other military guys. Three of them were about to ship out to basic in the Navy, and the other one was an Army guy who had already been through basic and was about to leave for his tech school. We ended up just hanging out and talking for four or five hours. We talked a little about MEPS and the military, but for the most part, we just relaxed and told jokes. I had expected to be kind of lonely during my night at the hotel, but I ended up having a lot of fun.
Around 9:00 (2100) I gave up and headed to bed, since I knew I would have to be up before the crack of dawn the next morning (breakfast started at 4:15, and we had to be on the bus by 5:30), and I wanted to take a shower beforehand. But when I got back to my room, I discovered I did have a roommate, a girl who was going into the Navy to be a linguist, and who was actually supposed to be shipping out to basic that weekend. She was shy at first, and never really opened up too much, but she seemed sweet. Although, understandably, she was less than pleased when I accidentally set our clock an hour early while I was trying to set the alarm, so while we meant to wake up at 4:00, we got up at around 3:00, thinking it was 4:00. Of course, with the time difference, I was actually getting up at 2:00. That was fun. And yet, I still managed to pass my DLAB.
So after we very grumpily woke up, waited for breakfast to open since we were up so early, and ate, me and my roommate and the twins and a bunch of dudes all got on a bus and headed back to MEPS. By the time we got there, it was just starting to get light outside. Just a little. A Marine was there giving instructions, and he divides us into three lines: those three guys who were leaving for basic, another line for the people like my roommate who had already been through the physical and everything, and everyone else like me and the twins, who still had a very full day to look forward to. Though I realized while I was standing in that line, even though we weren't even recruits yet, that I had never seen a real line of people before. Always before, it was more of a squiggle. I guess something about a Marine makes you want to stand in a straight line. And then, of course, there was the one guy who wanted to try to bring a knife into a government building. He seemed very confused when the Marine told him to put it in the garbage. He seemed even more confused when the Marine didn't seem to care when he'd get it back.
So then we all filed upstairs to where I had taken the ASVAB, and while the poor guys shipping out got to look forward to a long day of nothing, me and all the others taking the physical got sent along pretty quickly. There, it was just a series of physical tests (shocking, I know). They tested my eyes, my depth perception, my hearing, they took my blood and blood pressure (the twins had to have their blood pressure taken three times, because they were always so nervous that it ended up high), asked me a bunch of questions about my medical history and drug use, and then, since the twins and I were the only girls taking the physical that day, the three of us went back to another room where we got to strip to our underwear and do a bunch of silly exercises so they could make sure all our joints worked, then we got to strip down to nothing but a gown and go into a separate room individually with two women who worked there, where one felt up my boobs while the other peeked at my va-jay-jay, I guess to make sure I had one. Then we all got dressed again, and then came the hardest part: we had to pee into a cup. The stall doors had to be open, and one of the ladies was standing in front of us to make sure we didn't do anything to our samples. We all three failed miserably the first time, but about 10 cups of water later, we were finally able to fulfill our mission.
But they finally told me that I passed my physical. Two tests down, one left. (The twins passed, too.)
So then I was on to the DLAB, the language test, which to me was the most important test of all, and the one I was least sure about. I'm not actually allowed to say much about the test (already getting into the super-secret confidential stuff), but there's some stuff about it online, so I figure I can talk about that stuff. The test was pretty much just how well you could learn their made-up language. They set a bunch of rules, like all nouns end in -at, all verbs end in -isi, the subject of the sentence starts with lo-, the direct object starts with li-, and so on (just so you know, I made all those up, so you can't use those to study). They teach you these rules one at a time, then you have to put all of them together at the end to form complete sentences. It actually would have been pretty fun, except that all the answers were read aloud, and they were only repeated once. For the second part, you had a series of four pictures labelled in a different made-up language, and you had to try to figure out what the words meant from the pictures, and then apply them to another set of pictures. That part was a little more fun since I could study it more and didn't feel so rushed. Anyway, I finished the test, and I ended up getting a 141. 176 is the highest, and the Air Force requires 100 minimum to be a linguist. Both the test moderator and my job counsellor said it was the highest score they'd ever seen. :) :) :)
And so, I passed my linguist test (!!!). I am eligible to learn any language they have.
Then, I went to talk to the Air Force job counsellor, who said that I will get to be a linguist. Though we were talking about whether I wanted to be an airborne linguist (translate in planes) or a ground linguist (translate on the ground, probably in an office). I didn't have a strong preference, but he told me I was too short to fly, so the Air Force made my decision on that one. But if I decide I want to be airborne once I get in, I can apply for a waiver. It's just really hard to do before I actually get in. He also confirmed that with my degree, I get to go in as an E-3, three ranks up from the bottom, which makes me an Airman First Class, gets me higher pay, and means I get to wear this snazzy little insignia:
After some more paperwork, it was time to officially swear in and take the Oath of Enlistment. Take the plunge, so to speak. Me and a few other guys were led into a nice ceremony room, where we were lined up and taught how to stand at attention and at ease, so that we could properly greet the lieutenant (or sergeant? I'm not sure what he was) who would be administering the Oath of Enlistment. No saluting yet, though. We all raised our right hand, and said in unison:
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.And so, I am now sworn into the US Air Force.
I'm in the inactive reserves in the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) until they can find me a linguist opening, and then it will be off to basic. My recruiter said the waiting process usually takes about six months.
So now, I wait. And walk around feeling like a badass.
Monday, June 8, 2009
A little more about MEPS, pre-MEPS
So I leave for MEPS on Thursday morning, in three days. I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited. Also a little nervous, but mostly I'm afraid that I won't be able to join, for some hidden disqualification, or I suddenly lose all my test-taking ability and fail the ASVAB, or something like that. Yay, paranoia. But it will be really nice to know for sure that I can join and everything.
Though I talked to my recruiter again today, and it turns out I may not get to leave knowing as much as I thought I would. While I'm there, I will talk to a job counselor, and I'll fill out a list of jobs that I would like, but I won't know if I've gotten that job or when I ship out or anything until later. After MEPS, I have to wait for one of the jobs on my list to open up. The recruiter said the more open I am about jobs and the more I put down, the more quickly I'll get one, but to be honest, I'm in no great hurry, so I feel comfortable waiting for a linguist job to open up. Though linguists are in demand, so hopefully I won't have much of a problem.
I also found out that I am supposed to sign a contract that day (Friday, in my case), and swear in and everything. BUT, this will just be a very basic contract that will put me into the DEP (Delayed Entry Program), which is pretty much a holding pattern until I leave for basic. I will then be in the inactive reserves, so I will technically be in the Air Force, but with no pay or training or really anything at all, and I read online that never once has someone been called out of the DEP program early. Also, it is possible to back out at this stage, though they obviously discourage it. I have read the contract online, and it's a really short 4-page contract, so since I'll already have read what it's supposed to say, I'll know if anything's amiss at MEPS. But while you don't have to sign anything at MEPS, I know I personally have made my decision and have done my research, and I know I want to do it, so I see no reason not to go ahead and sign on Friday (unless, again, something seems amiss). Especially since they won't start looking for my job until they know I'm committed and actually in the Air Force. So, that's where that stands right now.
Also, I found a little seven-minute educational video on YouTube that shows exactly what happens at MEPS, so if anybody's interested, here you go.
Though I talked to my recruiter again today, and it turns out I may not get to leave knowing as much as I thought I would. While I'm there, I will talk to a job counselor, and I'll fill out a list of jobs that I would like, but I won't know if I've gotten that job or when I ship out or anything until later. After MEPS, I have to wait for one of the jobs on my list to open up. The recruiter said the more open I am about jobs and the more I put down, the more quickly I'll get one, but to be honest, I'm in no great hurry, so I feel comfortable waiting for a linguist job to open up. Though linguists are in demand, so hopefully I won't have much of a problem.
I also found out that I am supposed to sign a contract that day (Friday, in my case), and swear in and everything. BUT, this will just be a very basic contract that will put me into the DEP (Delayed Entry Program), which is pretty much a holding pattern until I leave for basic. I will then be in the inactive reserves, so I will technically be in the Air Force, but with no pay or training or really anything at all, and I read online that never once has someone been called out of the DEP program early. Also, it is possible to back out at this stage, though they obviously discourage it. I have read the contract online, and it's a really short 4-page contract, so since I'll already have read what it's supposed to say, I'll know if anything's amiss at MEPS. But while you don't have to sign anything at MEPS, I know I personally have made my decision and have done my research, and I know I want to do it, so I see no reason not to go ahead and sign on Friday (unless, again, something seems amiss). Especially since they won't start looking for my job until they know I'm committed and actually in the Air Force. So, that's where that stands right now.
Also, I found a little seven-minute educational video on YouTube that shows exactly what happens at MEPS, so if anybody's interested, here you go.
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